Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
by Russell Kelfer
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."
You might have noticed that it has been a couple of weeks since I posted on here... and there is a reason. We no longer have internet in our home. At first it was really hard for me to deal with. I am ashamed to admit that now! It took me several hours to process through what had taken place. I had a conversation with God in my journal about my feelings and here is some of it:
"Being without internet has caused a wound in my heart. This is because for me, honestly, I confess the internet has become my resting place. When the day is hard I long to run to the comforts of my little laptop. My mind knows that You Lord, are my resting place! My heart in some ways longs for you to be my resting place, yet it also wants the easy and painless comfort of the computer. In the internet world I am among friends, others possibly escaping their messy realities and finding hope on a screen. They are like me, they love You and their husbands, they too have longed for You to fill their wombs and have found joy in adoption. They are my safe sisters. They don't often ask hard questions abut faith, life, marriage etc and I don't ask anything of them..."
I go on to ask God to become my true resting place again... to restore me to the joy of my salvation. Guess what??? He has!!!! Through the love and care of my Heavenly Father, my Good Shepherd and through the grace and love of the greatest husband, I have FOUND REAL JOY beyond the laptop! Thank you JESUS!
I am at the library now. I will still come weekly to respond to emails, facebook, and read and update my blog.
I seriously want to challenge each of you to search your heart and recognize your source of comfort. If it comes from the screen you are now staring at please turn it off and open God's Word! It will change your perspective and your life!!!
Leaving you with this verse...
"... You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with JOY, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever" Psalm 30:11-12
Tuesday, January 6, 2009