We have been on our journey to baby for six months... officially... and my whole life unofficially! The adoption journey has taught me so many things, sadly I am learning and re-learning many each day, but I thought I would share a few of them with you today.
**Well, 30 minutes of typing and my list of a few has grown quite a bit! The amazing thing is most days I feel like I don't know much at all!
I Have Learned:
~that the paper chase was great because I felt like I was doing something each day.
~that in every stage of the adoption journey the grass is always greener.
~that Ethiopia has have 5 syllables and is almost impossible for little ones to say, but is adorably cute to hear them try.
~that I have all the cravings of a pregnant woman, but no baby in my tummy to account for the weight gain.
~that yahoo groups are the key to finding families in your shoes around the world.
~that yahoo groups can be amazing and cruel all in one day.
~the terms like DTE, and pap, etc etc are part of my new language.
~that the unofficial waiting lists are terribly inaccurate, but intensely addicting... therefore it is important to have one ready to look to for comfort at all times.
~that while being #16 on the unofficial waiting list is GREAT, knowing that this might only represent 1/4 of the families actually waiting doesn't make it so wonderful.
~that three months can go by with no referrals and then one week can have ten... there is no way to predict anything!
~that a referral (while good for PAP's) means a child has lost their first family. Our joy is mixed with their sorrow
~that all the jokes about paperwork are true... I have never signed so many things that are almost the same.
~that adoption allows you to get to know people in your community as you receive background checks, insurance statements, bank statements, physicals, visit notaries, the courthouse, the fingerprint place, and most importantly the Post Office!
~that checking the mail each day during the paper chase has the ability to make your day or bring you to tears.
~that "well meaning" people will give you "encouragement" that adoption will lead to tummy pregnancy frequently, and no matter how many times it is said it still feels like a slap in the face!
~that after the above I must say, "We are so blessed that God is building our family through adoption. We are beyond thrilled to welcome children into our family from around the world. Statistically, pregnancy after a half decade of infertility is just as likely for those who have adopted or not, but I am sure you know of a few families this has happened to. Adoption is our plan A and we are not praying for a pregnancy... simply that God would lead us to our children, and He is!"
~that even after my above response people will think that we are settling... and it will hurt... and we can't let it hurt! We can show them our authentic joy and pray that they will one day share in it!
~that seeing any child with chocolate skin causes my heart to beat more quickly and possibly causes tears to come to my eyes.
~that "Everlasting God" is my theme song most days.
~that social workers want success for your family and even when they tour your home they are not hoping you fail, but excited to partner with you.
~that no agency is perfect, but their goal at the end of the day is beautiful!!!
~that we have the opportunity to bless or annoy our agency by our responses to things we can't change and by our encouragement of them!
~that God hears every prayer we pray and He truly is the Father to the fatherless.
~that someone you meet through the blog world can feel like a very close friend simply because of adoption.
~that I can have multiple Facebook friends I have never met, but feel closer to me than many of the FB friends I went to school with.
~that God who is rich in mercy sent Jesus to live and die and bear the punishment for my sin so I would have the opportunity to be Adopted into the family of God! That is right... I have been adopted.
~that the cost of adoption is huge; emotionally, physically, relationally, and financially.
~that predicting financial costs is pretty impossible.
~that my first guess of $3,000.00 for plane flights and hotel is about TEN THOUSAND dollars off. Opps! To my defense I was thinking we would only be making one trip and now know we will most likely be making two.
~that the support of friends and family can warm my heart on the hardest day.
~that there are people who I don't know well who love our child enough to give time, prayer, and finance to bring our little one home.
~that regions of Ethiopia would sound as normal to me as Big Ten schools.
~that often times adoption books present the worst case scenario, and that is OK
~that Ethiopian names are so beautiful and it is OK to wait to think about names until after the referral.
~that being a procrastinator comes in handy for nursery prep. It won't happen for a LONG time and that is fine because I won't walk sadly past the room, and I work better under pressure.
~that I can still have SO much to learn!
~that waiting never gets easier.
~that I can love a child so deeply who I have never touched, held, kissed etc.
~that though all the joys and sorrows... it is ALL WORTH IT!!!
~that I must daily surrender the lives of my future children to the Lord! He alone is in control!
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