Saturday, April 2, 2016

The masterpieces created when mommy doesn't yell...



* I wrote this post weeks ago and forgot to post it.  Major photo spree in progress.  Posts will happen every day.  I auto-scheduled to force myself to get them up each day.
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The title of this blog (Yearn For Surrender) came about many years ago...many years before kids, before trauma, before life by the Lake.  The thought behind the blog title is something I still struggle with... to yearn for surrender.  As I have parented my kids I learned first how much I didn't know, and then how ineffective I was at applying the new things I was learning.
Here is the deal.
I continually attempt to operate out of my strength. I try to parent my kids based on MY abilities.  At first that statement doesn't sound so wrong, right?
Then I consider Jesus' words,
 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in youyou will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5
Whoa!  
I can do nothing apart from Christ.  Parenting is an area in life where I NEED to yearn to surrender.  I need to die to my abilities and skills because they fall apart.  The Holy Spirit lives in me.  He is much more powerful than the best parenting book perfectly executed.  
So sometimes I lose my cool.  
I don't scream on and on, but I say a name and a word or two loudly after it... or at least I used to.  This year I have been laying this struggle before the Lord each day, many times a day.  He is softening my heart.  It isn't easy, I have had a short fuse since birth or maybe even before birth.  I fail sometimes.  I need reminders.  I need grace. 
I love the photos below because they tenderly remind me of what can happen when I don't yell!  When I do remain in Christ there is fruit!
Beauty Happens!
Masterpieces are created!
So here is the story.  
T wanted to paint.  M wanted to paint.  T wanted to use use M's paints.  He freaked out.  Brandon was on the phone.  Paint water spilled, I think three times. T didn't rinse the brush and was destroying all the colors.  I stayed calm.  The kids calmed down.  The kids asked for forgiveness.  The kids decided to share the paints. Brandon got off the phone.  Brandon came into a kitchen filled with calm and joy.  It really happened, all because I stayed calm and really I surrendered to the Holy Spirit to do a work of calm in me that I could at best fake on my own. It was such a treasured time that I wanted to document it! It is far easier for me to try to take control, to use a strong voice, to get emotional.  It is far wiser (and harder) for me to stay calm, to allow the Holy Spirit to parent through me, but when I do something supernatural happens.  

I am a work in progress friends!  I need to pray about my anger and emotions many times a day.  Kids are hard.  My kids are hard.  God is bigger!  The Holy Spirit lives INSIDE us!  He is victorious! 


M and T working together and sharing paints!

M: This is the best painting I have ever done!
T: Look at all my clean colors!  I didn't mix everything up and turn it brown! 

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