Monday, November 14, 2016

Say What?! Hilarious Kid Quotes

We are ready to make you smile!

I have been collecting post-its and messages to myself for a while and I am excited to share more funny kid sayings and stories.  I hope that the funnies below will bring a smile to your face today dear friends!

Tonight we went down to the Lake to see the moon rise.  We were all very excited, but sadly some clouds spoiled our fun.  After dinner the moon was higher in the sky and very visible from our front window.

T looking at the moon:  Oh wow, yeah look.  It is bigger than a light bulb! (perspective is confusing for kids)

T was talking with Brandon about Grandpa Tom and Grandma Judy's dog.  Their dog died a couple of years ago.

T: I really miss Maggie. 
Brandon: I do, too.
T: He was a keepable dog.
B: He was a keepable dog?
T: Yeah, he was a keepable dog, but then he ate some poison and died.

One day I was driving in the van with T.  Totally out of the blue she said,  "Well, luckily I still have my thumb. That's great."  Yes, thumbs are helpful.

T built a house and described the parts of it to me.  She said, "This is the chimpanzee for Santa to go down."  

We were talking about not eating too much stuff with sugar.  I asked T what could happen if you eat too much and she said "You would get a cavity and then you would need to put mint in your mouth that is like sidewalk."  She meant a filling of cement. 

After coming home from visiting some friends: 

T:  That was so nice of Pedro to give me beads.  She had a lot of beads.
Brandon (confused): Pedro?
T:  Yes, Pedro.  She came to our house this summer.  
Brandon:  You mean Paige?
T:  Yes, Paige.

This summer T was at a park and went down a very hot slide.  This was her report afterwards. 
T: Mom, I needed to have sunscreen on.  This slide is too hot!

While eating food - 
T: It will get all fogged up.
Me: What?
T: You know, it will get gross and foggy if we don't eat it. 

Song variation - 
T: If you're happy in your nose clap your hands... If you're happy in your nose stomp your feet.  (Glad she is happy in her nose!)

T: It hurts when I go poo and not when I go pee.  I think I have a bladder convection!

T: I am the S*U*P guy.  (The right letters, the wrong order)

T has sort of taken over the "Say what?" posts, but M still has a few sillies. 

M: The trick to going to the bathroom fast (urine) is to push hard, but if poo comes out... then you are stuck!

M: I knew you guys were kissing.  I heard your lips talking together.  (I guess he busted our talking lips)

I walked into the kitchen and found wet paper towel tubes and water all over.  
T: I'm doing experience.  I am a science teacher.

T constantly wants us to read her into every story.  It can be frustrating to say "T Jasmine" etc each time so sometimes the answer is no.  When we told her not this time she said... 
T: Can I just be her in my remind?

Brandon was trying to leave T's bed at bedtime and she was stalling.  He kept his answers short and sweet.  

T: What killed the dinosaurs?
Brandon: I don't know. 
T: Was it bad guys?
Brandon: Maybe.
T: Maybe it was armies or Jesus
Brandon: Maybe

While the kids were playing and wrestling with Brandon:
M: Hey dad, you want a piece of me?
T: Yeah Dad, you want a piece of meat?  You want a piece of meat?

One day T was bouncing on the couch and saying, "pipe- athetical" over and over again. 

At nap time I often sing songs to T.  She was trying for a compromise because Farmer in the Dell has a lot of verses. T: Can you sing Farmer in the Dell with only a few virgins?

The kids watched an episode of Clifford while traveling this summer and they are sure there was some sort of servant dog in one called a "Siple" dog.  Whenever they are in great moods and wanting to help they tell us they are siple dogs.  

T opened the Bible to the section of maps and said, "Oh look, the weather."  I guess we do check the radar a lot so we know if it is a good day for biking/walking. 

T couldn't wait to tell us this news when she got off the bus.
T: A's dad is in the military so he picked her up with a cemetery coat on. 

English grammar is difficult!
T:  I am shoting at the wall... pause... I shooted it! 

We were having a conversation about kids laughing at T.  Sometimes she does funny things but gets sensitive about laughter. 
T: I don't like it when kids at school laugh at what I say.  
Me: What should they do instead?
T: Bow to me!

T: I wahked in the gahden.  I wahked in the gahden.  
This is my car accident talk.
Me: Do you mean "accent"

T: Yes. 
I have to admit, her Boston accent is better than mine. 

T insisted on getting some adult camis from Costco.  They are way too big for her, but with a hair tie around the arms they sort of work.  She wore one to church (as a dress) and the hair tie must have shifted.  She went up for the children's message and I noticed she was completely flashing the whole church.  She didn't care about her wardrobe malfunction.  

Did you laugh?  Did you smile?  Do you want more posts like this?  I tagged all the kids funny posts so they can all be found at THIS LINK.  Enjoy!!!!