Yearn for Surrender

Toddlers and Homeschooling

2012-01-31T21:56:00.002-06:00

I am pretty much convinced that stay at home moms who are parenting toddlers are homeschooling moms! In a toddler’s (and many would argue older too) world, LIFE is school. Throughout the day M is learning things every where he goes. He is a curious little guy and likes to figure things out all by himself. Of course he also says “Mommy, do iss” quite a bit too. He wants to learn, but knows he needs my help.

While Brandon was in grad school we met many homeschooling families. We treasured all we learned from them and appreciated the ways their children interacted with us, with their peers, and with the world around them. We asked lots of questions and gained lots of great information. I could feel my heart shifting as I learned about the benefits of teaching to your child’s learning style, of weaving the Gospel into all things, and watching firsthand as your children learn to read etc. The theory all sounded lovely.

Then we became parents and weariness set in. I often began to wonder how I could teach my children at home when I felt like all I could do was survive toddlerhood. It was then that I realized that every thing that I did with M was home school.

The local Christian school is hosting a homeschool mom’s morning out once a month for the next few months. M and I went to the January event and had a blast. I learned so much from the other moms and was encouraged to hear them answer my questions as they shared about various aspects of schooling at home. M loved seeing the other children and was able to attend a little story time with them. He seemed like such a big boy to me in that moment. During the meeting I learned that our community does indeed have a homeschool co-op.

Last week M and I along with L and his mommy and some of M’s dear friends M and H and their mommy all headed to the local homeschool co-op. That is right, I took my 2 year old and C took her 1 year old! It did seem a bit strange since our little men are not yet school age, but it was so lovely. All the 4 year olds and under are in one area and they enjoy learning about a letter, doing songs, reading books and doing crafts. M is still quite young for some of it, but that might be changing to some degree soon as I volunteered to help with the 1 and 2 year olds. Yes, there are lots of them. Whole families come to the co-op, so of course that means the little siblings come too. It is quite a blessing for M to meet new little friends. It is a great joy for me to be connecting with women who I know will be great resources to me in the future.

Am I boldly proclaiming that the only option for our children will ever be home schooling? No. I am simply saying that right now I am home schooling my toddler and would love to learn from pros. I am also saying that as we prayerfully consider what the Lord would have us do when it comes to educating our children we want to have explored all the options well. We feel home schooling could be a great foundation for our children and we will continue to pray and follow God’s leading in this area.

First Christmas Home Photo Post!!!!

2012-01-30T19:42:00.011-06:00

Singing with my friends for Christmas. I just wasn't in the mood to sing I guess.

Our family on Christmas Eve. Daddy was a pirate for Christmas. Read mommy's post about this and other Christmas adventures HERE

Grandma's brother has a beard. How cool is that?

Mommy holding Baby A. I was fine with mommy holding her for a little while, but just so you all know I am still her baby!

I learned how to drive a tractor!

It sure is fun to turn the train on while Grandpa is holding it!

Baby A was so cute I just had to give her a little kiss!

I dare you to look at this one and not laugh!

Baby A sure is cute and tiny! I don't think I was ever that tiny.

Maggie dog likes to lick the window. I decided to try it too. I highly recommend it!

Doesn't Baby A look cute in the hat my friend B made for her?!

My feet have grown a lot recently!

Just like Grandpa!

Just making sure all the electronics are working properly!

Getting the dance party started in our matching PJ's

A and I have lots of great moves!

Can you tell which one I am? Tricky huh? I am on the right!

We were way too excited to stop the fun for photos!

The best cousin photo mommy has to share.

I am thinking about starting s shoveling business, but I would need to get Grandpa to come and hold the end of the shovel. He has another job besides holding the shovel so my business might not happen.

Here is how to make a snowman:

First we had to make some big balls with the snow.

The we stuck some rocks and sticks in the balls of snow.

Then it turned into my first snowman!!

My beautiful Grandma! Now you know where I get my good looks :)

Loving Marvel, the coolest great, great, great aunt a little guy could ask for!!!

I am a big helper! Hold on Great Grandpa this remote is not toddler proof!

Grandma, I am not sure if I was cut out to be a vest model.

Ernie, seriously you were way too close to me...

...and now that you are a little ways away you are the coolest dog once again!

Sitting with Great Grandpa and Kitty is a great place to be!

Just chillin with Grandpa's mommy and daddy!

I really like this book about a hat... was this the book about the hat?

"Gin" Grandpa!

I sure am glad Grandma got all these books from the library!

I love hanging out with Grandma's mommy and daddy. We all like to laugh together!

Back home after the roadtrip...

Kitty makes my Advent tree extra beautiful!

A little sledding, story time, Miss Patty Cake, and early intervention

2012-01-30T19:23:00.001-06:00

M and I have been enjoying many new things in 2012! We have had snow a few times this month and M has embraced it. After a few falls over Christmas he learned he needs to be brave if sledding is on the line. M loves to sled. He loves to go fast! We live on a hill which provides him with great places to sled. M loves sledding down our driveway. Brandon actually was sledding with M right after a snow (but before people shoveled) and they were able to sled down our driveway, turn the sled 180 degrees and sled all the way down our street (on the sidewalk or course). I am sure that was quite a sight to see. M really really enjoyed it! I went out with them the first day and treasured the memories that were made. Since then I have taken that time to cook or clean after a meal, but I can still see a lot of activity from the windows. I can’t describe the joy in my heart to see my men playing and laughing together!

This January we started attending story time at the local library. They do a super job not only reading books but also doing music, finger games, dancing, and playing. M loves it. I really enjoy getting to know other women I would otherwise never meet. We have even been invited on a play date! These moms and little ones are our mission field right now. We are so thankful to be starting relationships with many special people.

Miss Patty Cake is M’s new hero! Seriously, we have one CD (Colors, Numbers, ABC’s) that we gave him for a one year home gift. He sits on a little blanket next to the CD player and listens to every word. He does actions and focuses in on her Bible Stories. He is learning so much from her and her songs are fun and catchy too! I would highly recommend her stuff to everyone. I would joyfully accept any old CD’s any of you might have around haha.

One other new development in our lives has been starting the initial screening for Birth to 3 services with our county. M is doing very well in most areas, but we want to make sure he is on track. Right now he is getting evaluated and there is a possibility he will need some help with sensory areas. We are blessed by these services and want to do all we can to help M in any areas that he may be lacking without our knowledge. Almost every state has these free services available. I so highly recommend getting every child evaluated. I know you might think I am silly for saying this, but as parents we often miss things that are right under our noses. We assume (esp with the first child) that behaviors are normal and progress is where is should be. Quite often we are right, but sometimes we are wrong. In those moments where we realize that our children can’t (see well, are behind verbally, have a deeper food issue, have hearing loss) do something or experience something we almost always wish we would have known sooner. This is why we are being proactive. Will M have OT in our home long term? Will our schedule be forever altered? Most likely, No! However, we hope to learn some tips and tricks that will help us to better parent our son!

Home One Year!

2012-01-29T13:14:00.001-06:00

* Actually he came home on 1.16.11 so it has been a bit more than a year, but it is still January :)

I almost can’t believe there was a time when I wasn’t M’s mom. That time seems so distant and blurry and surreal. Were Brandon and I really married for 6 years before we became parents? I just can’t believe it. The truth is we have been parents for just one year... but what a year it has been!

First, a little celebration! We made it! Through the days when we were so tried and weary and sad and it felt like we might not... God sustained us! Through all the bumps and bruises of learning to walk... God sustained us. Through 9.5 teeth popping through... God sustained us. Through several months of congestion and nasty diapers before learning of an intense dairy issue... God sustained us. Through the loss of independence... God sustained us. Through the transition my wardrobe, body, and hair went through as they were speared with all things nasty, yanked, pulled, pinched, bitten... God sustained us. Through the agony of the SLOW road to deep attachment... God sustained us. Through the loss of a country, culture, language, food, and home... God sustained my son. His mercies are new EVERY morning and never in my life have I clung to that hope like I have in the last year. Thanks be to our Powerful and Faithful Sustainer and Life Giver!!!

M is doing so well! When I think back to those early days and all he and we have overcome I am just blown away. M is growing in every way. We have seen significant height and weight change in recent months. His body shape is also changing and his baby/toddler look is changing to more of a preschooler look. Now that he is potty trained we have packed away the onesies which means that his clothes look much more grown up as well.

I have seen many glimpses of spiritual interest and understanding in his life. He is beginning to understand Bible stories and possibly their significance. He is learning to pray when he is sad, naughty, frustrated, and when he is happy as well. He initiates prayer quite frequently which warms my heart. He truly loves to worship the Lord through song. M seems to understand songs quite well. He raises his hands in worship at totally appropriate times and seems quite engaged. We pray that over the years he grows more and more in his love for God and for the Bible and that he authentically chooses to follow Jesus all his life!

M’s attachment blows me away. When I think about his night terrors of a year ago I am amazed by how well he has grafted into our family. The transitions have not been easy and we will no doubt experience many more stages of attachment in the coming months and years, but we are getting there. I am so shocked by my feelings towards him. I feel in my heart like I carried him in my womb, like I gave birth to him, like I have known him since his conception. This might sound like a slam to his birth family, country, culture etc. I do not mean it in that way. We love ET and we love adoption. We talk about both all the time. Confusing?? Sort of. I guess love is confusing. I just feel so very blessed and grateful to God to be M’s mom. God truly led us to our son. If your child is not home yet and you are reading this, hang in there! The wait is so hard and it often seems like others processes are going faster, but God’s timing is perfect. He knows everything and He will blow you away if you let Him!

At one year home (almost 2.5) here are some likes and dislikes:

M Likes: ~Treats: Zand cough drops, Larabars, black bean brownies, rice flour banana bread, rice cakes with peanut butter, sweet potato chips, Trader Joe’s veggie chips, freeze dried fruit, squeeze fruit and veggie pouches, Rice Chex, fruit leather, pecans, almonds, tortilla chips, popcorn, and hummus.

~General Food: oranges, apples, bananas, red grapes, apple sauce, raisins (sometimes), blended veggies, blended chickpeas, split pea soup, potatoes, hot rice cereal like I eat, and sweet potatoes.

~ Toys: Anything with wheels (buses, cars, trucks, emergency vehicles, trains, planes, tractors, construction equipment), his stuffed cat “Kitty Cat,” balls, (esp the see through blue one) puzzles are beginning to hold his attention as well. He loves pushing and running with carts/lawnmowers/walkers/anything that has wheels. He also enjoys playing with cups and bowls and water in the sink. He wishes he could play more with cords, computers, phones, and electronics in general.

~Books: Dr. Suess and Curious George are becoming favorites, animal books, rhyming books, books about things that have wheels. He really continues to love books and is read to at least an hour a day, but sometimes it could be closer to 3 hours a day.

~Music: Miss Patty Cake is his new favorite (I will be blogging more about her soon). He really likes Christmas music and we are still listening to it in the kitchen. He enjoys most songs on K-Love and sings along when he can. He continues to pick up song melodies after hearing them just once and then sings them throughout the week. He enjoying pretending to drum and has recently turned the cold air return vent into a guitar! Jesus has put music deep in this little guy’s soul!

~Activities/General personality: He really likes spending time with friends and doing some fun new activities that I will also be blogging about soon. He enjoys playing tickle games and make up games usually involving the cat or a ball with Daddy. He enjoys being out in the snow and really likes his sled. Our steep driveway has provided lots of fun and funny moments for M. He enjoys watching for big trucks that drive by. Of course the highlight of the week is garbage day on Friday! He likes to dance and sing and do all sorts of actions to songs. M likes us to copy him and is always saying, “Mommy, do iss (this).” He like to have a pulse on all activity in the house and he says, “Daddy ooing (What are you doing)?” all the time. He can say “what are you doing?” pretty well, but chooses to make his own slang version. He is saying longer sentences quite frequently. We have some written down that are about 7 words in length. He has 100’s of words and has a great gift for name memory. He knows almost every name of every person on our Christmas card door (photo in a future blog post). He knows many names of people he has never met and can recount them accurately without any help from us. He enjoying looking at photos on the computer, esp. those of his friends. He loves being held and “helping” with dinner, cooking, baking, emptying the dishwasher, sweeping, and cleaning.

M is not so much a fan of: 
~Food: most normal toddler food. He is quite picky when it comes to textures and doesn’t like meat or pasta. He doesn’t like things which are too warm or too cold or too sour.

~Toys: He is still not a fan of most stuffed animals. The really large ones still give him quite a scare. He isn’t too into building towers or forts though we try. He is not at all into anything crafty or art like. I hope he likes to draw or sit at the table and do projects one day, but it isn’t today. He has far too much to do!

~Books: He has a pretty good attention span, but still doesn’t like books with few photos and many words (typical). He doesn’t seem to like books with real things (ex. a real dog or pig) in them. He prefers to see drawings of people and animals.

~Music: He actually likes most music that we have shared with him. He isn’t a super fan of music without words :)

~Activities/General stuff: He is still not a fan of sleeping in, sometimes he still isn’t a fan of sleep in general. He isn’t a fan of being set down and would rather be held while mommy is cooking and cleaning than do an independent activity. He doesn’t like the hairdryer, bathroom fans, sharing food (though he does), bright sun in his eyes, brushing his teeth (though he does), and so many other things on a daily basis that escape me now.

We love you so much M!!!!

Collecting Adoption Receipts

2012-01-28T13:51:00.001-06:00

We have been searching through folders and files like crazy. We are attempting to find every receipt possible to send to the IRS. We received the lovely envelope from them last week requesting documentation for all of our adoption expenses. Many of our adoptive friends have received this note so we were not surprised by it. We were surprised by the timing. We already received the check, in fact we received it MANY months ago. We actually thought we were not going to be audited... until last week. We have been so blessed by every person/agency we have requested receipts from. I am learning lessons now for future adoptions. I am going to beg for receipts as we send in checks. It just seems easier that way. Actually, I am hoping I will need them. There is a sad reality that by the time M becomes a brother, the tax credit will no longer be available. Dear friends, please pray for us as we find all the documentations. Please pray that this credit can continue for many years to come. I do believe its removal could lead to many fewer adoptive families. God love adoption. The enemy does not! Please pray!

Our First Christmas...

2012-01-27T15:31:00.000-06:00

as a family of three! Well, technically it was M’s third Christmas alive and his second as “our son” since we passed court in November 2010, BUT he didn’t come home until January 2011. This means it was his first Christmas here in America with his family.

Warning: This blog post is long. This blog post has no pictures. This post could really have been four posts. I guess you could pretend it is. I am going to do a photo blog or two next week, and if you read the long entry below the photos will make a lot more sense!

The Advent Season

M loved the whole advent season. He enjoyed decorating for Christmas and really got excited about putting his ornament on his little advent tree each night. He has a fun and durable nativity play set which he enjoyed playing with all month. His favorite parts of the play set were saying “No” when Joseph (Joe-pit) asked several places if they had room for him to stay. He would then offer “Barn” when Joseph, Mary and the donkey reached the stable. After Jesus was born M enjoyed having the animals go up to the baby and say “Hey, that’s my food.” We pretended that the animals were quite confused about their feed box being converted to a crib. I would image they were actually quite confused! Speaking of Mary and Joseph. Brandon had a meeting at a church member’s home during December. He told M he was going to Mary’s house. M then said, “Joe-pit?” too cute!

M also loved listening to and singing Christmas Carols. I am sure this surprises no one as anyone who has met him knows that this little guy never stops singing. He sang Silent Night, Away in a Manger, and Happy Birthday Jesus in church with all his little Sunday School buddies. I was quite surprised that stage fright and “sitters” on both sides of him caused him to sit perfectly still and motionless during the whole performance. He did belt out the tunes the rest of the day if anyone asked him. He usually loves a stage so I am not really sure why he did what he did, but oh well, there is always next year... or sooner if the littles sing in church this spring. M was very into singing the chorus to Angels we have heard on high this Christmas season as well.

M got to go caroling with the church this year. We go to area nursing homes and ride a big school bus. He loved the bus, loved the people, loved the music. It was great!

M had no idea that Christmas had any secondary gift giving/receiving theme. I am so thankful for this. Moreover, I am thankful that even after Christmas is over he continues to have the same understanding of the celebration. M thinks that it is all about Jesus Birthday. As we thought about what to get M this year we decided to give him a gift through World Vision. Actually, most of our family received World Vision gifts this year. Not only were they super easy to wrap and pack, but they were life giving and will truly be appreciated for years to come. M received a goat and two chickens from us. He also received a Lara Bar. He got to eat the Lara Bar on the spot which was a HUGE treat for him.

Christmas Eve/ the eye patch story

On Christmas Eve our house was quite busy. We hosted a small noon meal with the other pastor and his family. They are so much like family to us that we are blessed to have this special Christmas tradition. It also makes a lot of sense due to the crazy schedule of Christmas Eve for pastors and their families. Anyway, I was cooking and cleaning in the morning and we were on a good pace to have the food ready early so I could begin packing for our big adventure which would begin the next day. I was vacuuming upstairs and came down to hear that M had scratched Brandon in the eye. At first I offered a tiny bit of sympathy and continued to vacuum. I didn’t realize the extent of the injury and I was one a mission to have clean floors. After I stopped I learned that Brandon was in lots of pain. I guess after the accident (while I was upstairs vacuuming) M was actually screaming “Mommy! Daddy hurt.” Brandon was in quite a bit of pain and started saying “oh man” so of course M started marching around Brandon who was balled up on the floor saying “oh man” as well. Super cute to think of now that Brandon is no longer in pain.

I told Brandon I would do a quick google search about home remedies for eye scratches. As it turns out, and most of you know, there are not any. It is very important to see a Dr. right away so you can begin to rub an antibiotic on the eye. Eye infections happen quickly and are not what you want to get. So, I informed my preaching pastor husband during the mid-morning of Christmas Eve that he needed to head to a walk-in clinic right away. Poor guy was in so much pain that he said he barely had to sit in the waiting room at all (thanks God). I think they all had a lot of sympathy for him. He was able to see the Dr. and pick up the cream within a couple of hours.

M and I made the meatball gravy and the food prep was underway. We were behind schedule, (meaning we didn’t have a thing packed) but the food would be ready. Brandon put the cream in, but it seemed to make the pain worse. L and his family were here for lunch and it was lovely though strange as we sat in the dark and all sort of stared at Brandon as he sat in extreme pain. We knew we had to do something to get rid of this pain. It was less than 3 hours until the first church service. We were praying and pleading and wondering how everything would turn out. After lunch our friends headed to church or home to nap and Brandon put M down for his nap. I made an emergency pharmacy trip of my own. I will on the hunt for eye patches. I found them quickly and thanks be to God they were the ticket to ease a great amount of Brandon’s eye pain. Obviously, the patch was VERY visible to all who attended church that night, but I think he only scared a few little girls so all in all not a total nightmare.

After church we opened some gifts here. We were quite spoiled by local friends and we had several packages to open. In hindsight, M was very tired and Brandon was in pain and had to turn around and preach the next morning so we should have just called it a night, but oh well... M did have a late night Lara Bar!

Christmas Day/ The road trip begin/ Brandon’s family
Christmas Day was filled from morning until late night. We had one church service. Brandon was already able to go without the patch. He was in some pain, but apparently eyes heal very quickly. We were very thankful that the pain was lessened. It was awful for M and me to watch Brandon experiencing such pain. After church we wrapped gifts and packed the car and ate an early lunch and tried to get M to release all liquid from his body. We hit the road around 11:30... I think... you know it was over a month ago so my memory is a bit sketchy!

The car ride to Missouri went pretty well. Overall, we were always near a bathroom when we needed to be. Our entire journey around the mid-west M didn’t have a single accident! Amazing! The more tired he would get in the evening, the more he would request to stop. The frequent stopping wasn’t too fun (esp. on Christmas Day when many things are not open), but we made it through.

We had a great time with Brandon’s family. We were able to meet our new niece, Baby A. She is so sweet and seriously the best behaved baby I have ever met. I think she was only awake about an hour or two the whole time we were with her. She slept so sweetly through all the noise around her. She was so tiny (born 12.8.11) and light. I felt like I was holding a doll when I held her. Big A her brother is an excellent big brother and is transitioning very well to his new role in the family. A and M have great fun together. They especially enjoyed feeding Brandon’s parent’s dog Maggie. Maggie weighs more than me and is intimidating to most people. M still shares about how he was scared, but that grandma held him so he could give Maggie treats. One of the cutest memories from our time there was M and A feeding Maggie bird food or “birdie treats” as M says. They opened the deck door by themselves and handed out their treats with no parental help. I was so thankful that everyone let them continue long enough to record it on video! Another special memory was watching the boys in their new matching PJ’s dancing and being silly together. One more special thing was watching grandpa Tom play trains with the boys. I know the boys enjoyed it, and hopefully it wasn’t totally stressful for Tom. I sure got a kick out of watching all the crashes, the sparks flying, the trains derailing, the track being torn apart, and all they other delights of letting a 2 and 3 year old boy play with a real train set. So sweet, so special! While with Brandon’s family we were also able to see a lot of extended family and enjoy many laughs with them as well. We also all passed our tooth exams this time. No cavities... yahoo!

More roadtrip/ Shelly’s family
On the road again... M did very well on the car ride (to my parent’s home) taking a several hour nap at the start of the journey. The only glitch in the day was an extra smelly bathroom. I tried to tell him it was fine but I kept having dry heaves. It was seriously awful... you get the idea. In the end Brandon ended up taking him in to the men’s room and all was well. Speaking of bathrooms, do you know how you can tell if a bathroom is “nice”? Keep in mind that “nice” is the ideal for all things with my son. Well, a “nice” bathroom is one that does NOT have a fan. It is really “nice” if it also doesn’t have a hand dryer. Oh boy, it was like fighting a great battle to get him to go if the light was connected to a fan. Yikes! One other bathroom story, you love them, right? Brandon told me once after a stop that he heard M singing In Christ Alone while using the toilet. I guess the vents must have been connected. I hope he put a few smiles on faces.

We had a great time with my family. After days of sharing toys and adults with Big A and Baby A, M was in his glory surrounded by adults who wanted to play with him. He loves reading with grandma and playing on the floor with grandpa. M would say “up high” (I think, I can’t remember actually) to my dad and then my dad would tickle him. He just couldn’t get enough of it. M was able to go on an adventure to both the ambulance garage and the city garage. He really enjoyed both of them, though has recounted MANY times that the siren on the ambulance (which he heard for one second) was very loud and scary. He really liked sitting in all the big machines at the city garage. His favorites (according to my mom) were the street sweeper and the dump truck. I guess he pretended to drive the street sweeper all by himself and even pretended to wave to people below. He got to see the dump truck bed lift up and down which is another thing that he talks about all the time. While with my parents M experienced his first snow of the year. The amount of snow was minimal, but we got the most out of it that we could. M (with MUCH help from grandma and grandpa) shoveled the sidewalk and made a snowman. He also face planted 3 times in his new boots. The boots have now been returned! One other classic Shelly’s family experience happened on the way home from my grandparents house. After a warm day the weather changed and rain turned to snow. The snow was coming down hard as we drove home in almost complete white out conditions. There was a lot of prayer going on in the car as no one felt like they could see much of anything out the windows. I am so thankful for my dad’s driving ability and his knowledge of the road we were traveling. The reason is this classic as it seems to happen every single year! Seriously, I would say 3 of the last 5 years this or dense fog or freezing rain or something has happened. M was silent and very awake the whole journey. When we got home to my parents he said, “Yay Grandpa Yay Driving!” While with my family we were also able to see much extended family and friends and make lots of new memories. We also introduced some of the family to the game Farkle!

On the road again... The last leg of the journey went quite smoothly. We were able to stop at my mom’s parent’s house of a visit and lunch and that really broke things up. We got to see one of my cousins and one uncle as well. M got more gifts so he was thrilled. After leaving their farm we only stopped twice the rest of the way home (5.5 driving hours) which is pretty amazing.

Brandon continues to be my hero. I did all the driving, but he did all the entertaining of M. I am pretty sure his job was a lot harder than mine. Brandon is so creative. M’s cat “Kitty Cat” was the star of the show through every car ride and I am so thankful for his traveling companion and for Brandon’s ability to have the cat to 100’s of silly things!

We praise God for a wonderful Christmas time with our family both immediate and extended. We are so very blessed and so very thankful that God sent Jesus to earth as a baby on Christmas! He really is the reason for it all!

First Christmas Season home in photos!

2011-12-22T20:06:00.006-06:00

Hope you enjoy M's thoughts on many special things he is experiencing this first Christmas season!

Me with my BFF "L" on Thanksgiving Eve. I am the pilgrim since I came to a new world and L is a Native American because he was born here. We know we don't look the parts, but we are toddlers and not trying to make a statement :)

So excited to set up the Christmas tree... until we started setting it up. It is much more fun to talk about than actually do!

Not really sure about this one, but mommy thinks I am cute so yea... where are my socks anyway?

Mommy's side of the family at Thanksgiving.

I am thinking of entering a chair lifting contest so I have to practice frequently.

This is what Christmas is all about, right?

This is the Christmas tree forest at my church. Cool huh?

This is me with my friends. We are waiting for the parade to begin. The girls sang carols to me while we waited!

I loved the hot air balloon float and had to call my grandparents when I got home to tell them about the "Fire, hot, scary, parade" and about the reindeer!

Check out this cool boat in the parade!

This is me with one of my bestbuds! She is so good to me and plays with me at home and at church. I really love her!

I like to eat popcorn (paw-torn) every chance I get. Mommy and I make it on the stove. I get out the bowl and help sprinkle on the salt. Yummy!

I love to share popcorn with my sheep friend!

Mixing up the dough for my favorite peanut butter cookies is so much fun. Mommy is so glad I am there to help her. (Note from mom: The cookies are made with 1 cup natural PB, 1/3 cup honey, and one egg. They are great and HIGH is protein!)

I love watching the cookies bake, just like mommy did when she was little.

They are almost ready to eat.

I love opening a "door" every night with mommy and daddy. I scream DOOR as soon as I am done eating to make sure they don't forget, because, you never know... they might!

Just hanging out with my very own Christmas tree!

This is my advent tree. I decorated it myself. I add another ornament (O-ment) each day. Isn't it beautiful?

The 3rd verse is finally US!!!!!

2011-12-22T19:41:00.004-06:00

I have posted a you-tube link to this song by Third Day the last two years, well actually I think three years. This song has caused me to shed SO MANY tears in the last years... but this year he is HOME!!!! This is M's third Christmas, but his very first in a home with a family. We are so blessed to have him home with us. Our tears of sorrow have turned to tears of joy. The Lord has turned our mourning into dancing! Thanks be to God!

Here are the words to the 3rd verse!

It's Christmas time again and now you're home
Your family is here so you will never be alone
So tonight before you go to sleep, I'll hold you in my arms
And I'll tell you from my heart, and I'll you from my heart
I wish you Merry Christmas

I need to end this post by saying that I know many of you are not to the final verse of the song yet... it is so hard to feel that emptiness of celebrating while you know they are alone without your love. So thankful that our Father is a father to the fatherless. Also, we continue to feel this ache wondering if we have other children not yet in our family who are alive this Christmas. Our hearts do think of them, but we are so filled with joy for our first Christmas with M!!!

The boy who cried “push” and other tales from toilet training... the good, the bad, and the funny!

2011-12-22T14:20:00.002-06:00

*warning, this post will contain much discussion of toilets, pee and poo.

The Good!

Monday December 5th started like most Mondays in our home. I needed to use the bathroom and of course my little shadow followed me. M said something about the toilet and I asked him if he would like to go on it. He said yes. Being the ever prepared mom that I (rarely) am I got the child’s toilet seat out from under the sink and sat M on it. Much to my amazement he went! I was very excited and of course M was too. He wanted to sit on it a long while and actually peed and pooed on it. I was so proud of my little man. He loved being clapped for and esp. having his name chanted! We sang and read and drank a lot... it was great!

With M on the toilet, I ran upstairs and got a large stack of underwear. M got off the toilet and into underwear. After helping train a few little guys in my nanny days I decided that the underwear method (where they wet and wet until they get it) was what I was going to try. The only thing was... I was going to wait until the New Year. I was going to have candy (which M has never had) and sticker charts, and all sorts of incentives. It turns out M had other plans. He did have 2 accidents in underwear very early on and has been perfect since then. I really can’t believe it. I guess he was just ready. He was just shy of 2 years 4 months when we began training.

The first few days we stayed at home all day. The first 1.5 days we gated off the carpeted areas and had blankets, toys, and books in the kitchen. M also got to experience juice, which he really enjoyed. He only drank juice for a few days and then really hasn’t asked for it since. We do feel very blessed to have a big boy son. We are so proud of him. He has done so well even
when we are out and about. It is amazing really. He has been dry during naps and badtime quite frequently. We are planning on packing up the cloth diapers very soon which will be a welcome blessing for everyone, though we loved them of course.

The Bad!

Before you think a jealous thought, life has not been all fun and games at our house. Not only are we running to the toilet ALL.THE.TIME, but the nights are long, hard and even brutal at times. It is not a surprise to you that M is a light sleeper. Well, a light sleeper who now knows what the urge to pee feels like is a deadly combination. The first night at bedtime left this mommy pleading with God for mercy after at least 30 (literal) trips to the bathroom. M cried PUSH and off we went. Yes, he was in a diaper. Yes, he refused to use it. After I had turned into a mess of tears I finally held M in the rocking chair and hummed him to sleep while he cried PUSH (“put” as he says it) over and over again.

I thought things couldn’t get worse than that. I VERY quickly decided he would not be drinking anything any where near bedtime and that we would be fine the next day. Well, a few days went by with some wake ups and night, but in general he wet while he slept and we were both OK with that. Then came the dreaded 1:00 am wake-up call. My son went to the bathroom and then proceeded to stay up for the day... yes, FOR THE DAY starting at 1:00am. To make matters worse he took a dreaded 20 minute “car nap” in the morning and didn’t take a real nap until 2:00pm. So, while he did train quickly we have still had to earn our potty training badge like the rest of the parents out there. Last night we were up from 3-4:30, which compared to some nights isn’t that bad... I guess.

The Funny!

~In M language poo means he has to pee and push means he has to poo. I have no clue how this happened, but it leads to some laughter.

~M has yelled POO in church, grocery stores, restaurants, other stores, nursing home, car, bus, friends houses... everywhere really.

~M LOVES to pull down his pants and doesn’t really understand that it isn’t OK to do this everywhere.

~M NEEDS (according to him) an audience to watch is bathroom progress. At home we have a photo of Brandon’s aunt and uncle’s dogs on the lookout. “Jo” (who I guess is his favorite) is the main bathroom observer.

~When we are not at home finding an audience is harder, esp in public bathrooms. He truly wants everyone in the bathroom to come in our stall and listen and clap for him. This is not happening so we are creative. He has had the plunger watch him and more frequently the toilet paper holder. Hey, if it works... it works!

~After one day who no poo we decided to give him a little bit of fruit leather for a poo or rather a “put” :) He now thinks he needs a “big piece” and tries to negotiate with us at times. Most times he forgets about the treats which we are thankful for.

~ M loves to run around the house in only a shirt... typical boy... so if you come knocking at our door, be prepared.

Home in Heaven

2011-12-22T13:13:00.003-06:00

December 1st our wonderful friend Jack Keller finished the race on earth and was welcomed Home to Heaven by our King Jesus! I have wondered what to say in this post for a long time. Nothing has come to me, so I think it is best to share links for you. Click HERE to go to the Keller blog posts. Click HERE to view the memorial message.

I beg of you praying friends to lift up dear Sarah and the Keller family in these hard days... and hard hours. If you don’t know what to pray just as the Holy Spirit to intercede for you. May God continue to receive Glory through the legacy of Jack Keller!

Time in the City!

2011-11-27T21:35:00.007-06:00

After moving north 2 years ago, we were thrilled when we were given the opportunity to speak at a Gift of Adoption breakfast in downtown Chicago. An added amazing blessing to our time there was getting to stay at the Hotel Intercontinental on Michigan Ave. for free! M LOVED looking out the window and watching the buses stop across the street. We all enjoyed our time there, though we realized that for better or worse we have gotten very comfortable in our small town and we were pretty happy to return. We were also able to spend some sweet time with "two sweet boys" and their family on our trip home. Such special memories! Here are some photos of our fun!

I wasn't that into taking photos. I wanted to see buses and eat Lara Bars. I was quite excited to see my first Christmas tree! I could see my face in the balls on the tree. The balls are not for playing, just for looking!

I still love me Ergo... and Mommy too!

Mommy and I were so tiny next to this tall building. Even Daddy looked tiny next to it!

This photo is a tribute to some of my special girls who love American Girl dolls. We did go in the store. Mommy and Daddy were very glad I am a boy when they saw the prices!

So they took tiny things (Legos) and made the "skyline" (a word he learned when we were there). It was pretty cool!

I had to reach back really far to get my favorite pieces. Obviously I was only interested in wheels. I am not really sure what all the other thing were in the bins.

Double BUS!!!!! (Some people informed is that the other side of the hotel faces the Lake. I am so thankful we didn't get that view. 1. Because now that it is winter we can see the Lake out our upstairs windows and 2. because clearly the buses are way cooler)

So this is what it looks like when...

2011-11-27T21:12:00.006-06:00

So, this is what it looks like when I stick the cover of my water bottle in my mouth!

So this is what it looks like when I pose for a 2.25 year photo in the special photo chair!

So this is what it looks like when mommy tells me to do something (sit down for a photo) and I flash her a smile I know she can't refuse.

So this is what it looks like when mommy gives me a book to read so that I will sit for the photo shoot! That Lulu is so great isn't she?!

So this is what it looks like when I stand "upside down" and put a hat on my "bottom" :)

So this is what it looks like when I run around with hat over my eyes and I make mommy say "Where's my little boy?" (Check out the smile in this one, so beautiful)

So this it looks like when mommy wants to take a sentimental photo of me and daddy raking on the anniversary of when they first met me in Ethiopia!

Funny Man Photos

2011-11-14T20:03:00.005-06:00

One night in our home M decided to turn his pants into a hat. We snapped several photos and wanted to share them with you because they capture his funny personality so well. He was laughing SO HARD during this episode. Such a sweet time!

Do you like my blue hat? Do you want one just like it?

I thought so!

Would you like to see a side angle?

I can fluff it up for you.

It provides full face coverage!

It is a winner!

And then it happened again...

The brown pants make a great hat too.

I feel like I look a little feminine here.

My Lion

2011-11-14T19:41:00.002-06:00

An Actual Smile!

What we got when we told our lion to smile!

I know Halloween is a hotly debated topic among some Christians. I know and love people on both sides to the issue. I respect both camps as well. Check out this blog HERE and the corresponding links to see a bit of our perspective about Redeeming Halloween. Brandon and I did hand out candy to the kids that came to our door. M did trick or treat at 3 of our neighbor’s homes.

Our community holds trick-or treating on a Saturday afternoon so this happened 2 days before Halloween. It goes from 4:00-7:00 so no kids are out late at night. We turned our light off at 5:30 to eat dinner and wind down for the evening.

Trick-or-treating is the only night of the year when people who may never set foot in a church come to OUR door! When we greet them and talk with them and smile and share candy and our sweet son’s conversation with them we become real people to them.

M is waiting with the stash for the first guest. No, he didn't raid it. He is actually eating a Lara Bar.

Watching and waiting for friends to stop over.

Taking our son across the street to trick-or-treat was very special. We were able to meet neighbors that keep to themselves and really don’t want to have anything to do with us. When they saw our cute little lion I am pretty sure he melted hearts. We now know more of our neighbors names and they know ours. They know that we are not scary... and we know that they are friendly as well. What a blessing and gift.

The first of the 3 houses we visited. M gave the candy right back to the banana woman :) He eventually took it and daddy enjoyed it!

Fargo/Farm Fotos

2011-11-14T19:13:00.004-06:00

Here are some photos of our short visit to Fargo. While we spent most of the time with the Kellers we were able to do some other fun things as the photos show. I didn't get any photos of Mexican Village which is quite sad since their food is so delightful and their salsa is the best in the world. Enjoy!

These are my special friends Chuck and Ellen. I like to call Chuck "Gary" and mommy finally figured out why. He looks like my friend Gary who makes sure mommy's car is working. Chuck and Ellen are so much fun. I hope I get to see them again real soon. They run Old 52 General Store. It is SUPER cool so you all should check it out :)

This is my new buddy Dan. He was mommy's first little man. She learned a lot about little boys from her dates with Dan. I don't think Dan was ever as little as me.

This is Sarah and Dan. Sarah came home on an airplane just like me, but her airplane started in Guatemala and mine started in Ethiopia.

Sarah's hair had a fun handle to play with... so I did!

This is my buddy Aaron. He calls me Zachary, but that is cool. I don't mind.

There is one other brother at the Sabin Farm. For some reason we didn't get a photo of me with him. His name is Josh and he is so fun. He really likes me, I can tell. He played a special "up" and "down" game with the whole time we were there.

I love to praise the Lord at Salem E-Free Church in Fargo.

Climbing up the stairs at Salem Church was so much fun. Mommy got emotional because this is the spot where she married daddy. Also, under this platform is a HUGE bathtub and that is where mommy and daddy got baptized. I don't know what that means, but I think it is something good.

Mommy says I should say... I can't wait to go to Concordia College one day... GO Cobbers!

Mommy brought me to the store at her school...I got to wear this corn hat. Honestly, I was less than impressed.

Why 11.11.11 is special to our family!

2011-11-11T13:51:00.003-06:00

Three years ago today our sweet nephew A was born. What a joy and delight it has been to watch him grow and learn and laugh and play. We love you A. We will call you tonight so M can sing you the Birthday song. Check out a photo from three years ago HERE

Two years ago today we learned we were accepted into the ET program for our International Adoption. This was the feeling of "two lines" on the pregnancy stick... we were really going to be parents. You can read about that day HERE.

One year ago we were in Ethiopia and meeting our amazing son for the very first time. 11.11 is a very special date for our family. You can read all about that day HERE. I just read this entry and had tears in my eyes thinking about meeting sweet M that day.

This photo was taken of M one year ago today about 2 seconds before we came around the corner and met him for the first time.

While we did take pictures today they are not on the computer yet, so you will have to settle for this photo from Sunday. Such a happy and healthy boy. Wow, God is awesome!

Today we have so so much to be thankful for. We spent the morning outside with M. We raked leaves and he practiced going up and down stairs. Our lives are normal now as a family of three. I often forget about the years which have passed and the aches in my heart 1, 2, and 3 years ago on this day. Oh how faithful God has been.

Today our hearts are heavy as we recognize that Jack's cancer battle will end soon. We are thankful that Jack is finishing the race well and soon will be in the presence of Jesus, though our hearts ache as we think of Sarah and the boys, of Jack's great family and friends, of all he leaves behind. Please lift this family up today dear friends!

Keller time the photo edition

2011-11-10T20:21:00.004-06:00

We sure treasured our time in Fargo with the Kellers. I know I have shared about it in words... now it is time for the photos!

New friends bond over trucks.

New friends bond over food!

So sweet!

The best photo taken of Grandma M with the little boys.

OK, so the next photos really speak for themselves. I think wordless is really better here!

Bath Buddies!

High Fives :)

More sweet moments the last night...

Orphan Sunday

2011-11-06T22:28:00.001-06:00

I thought I would close the night of blogging with this awesome new Adoption Themed song from Casting Crowns!

FALLing in love with grandparent time!

2011-11-06T21:33:00.006-06:00

We had two great visits with grandparents this fall in back to back weekends. We had a blast each weekend. We went to two different pumpkin farms/petting zoo things and Mikias really enjoyed both of them. He just loves being with his grandparents.

Grandma and Grandpa are so much fun!

I was brave on Grandpa's shoulders.

I was not overly thrilled about posing by a pumpkin. I wanted to pose with the tractors... oh well!

I sort of look like I am smiling here. How did they get this photo? I know I wasn't smiling while they were taking them.

Carrying pumpkins is a big job for a little guy!

I really liked petting this soft bunny. The rest of the animals were not quite as cute and furry as this little guy!

I am a good helper with Grandma's glasses.

Maybe this is what I will look like when I am a grandpa.

Just reading the paper with my buddy Grandpa!

The next weekend...
I got to go in my first corn maze with my Grandma and Grandpa. In case you couldn't tell this is my other grandma and grandpa.

Oh good... my pumpkin photos!

My FAVORITE part was the tractor (wagon) ride to get the pumpkin. The tractor had big WHEELS! I love wheels!

This is my pumpkin!

Grandma brought her camp toys and we had so much fun playing marbles!

Grandpa has a beard and it is fun to feel the scratchy whiskers. I don't have a beard, but I can still pretend.

Photos Finally... part one...

2011-11-06T20:48:00.004-06:00

Note from "mom" Shelly: These photos are painfully out of order. I have MANY photo blog posts to post so I am sorry that they are sort of random, but I hope to do 3 other photo posts soon. Once I get "caught up" my goal is to do photo blogs every other week so the things I show you are actually somewhat recent! Now I will let me son tell you about his adventures.

This is the face I make when mommy tells me to smile for the camera. Check out my cool upside down shades!

I can fill up my water bottle all by myself, with just a tiny bit of help from my mommy.

On September 9th (one year after "the call") we went to the court house and I got to get my new birth certificate. The court room had stairs. They were fun.

This is my great friend "May-me" who comes to play with me every Tuesday... oh and she talks to mommy too. I love her.

This is what my lawnmower looked like when daddy took it out of the car after vacation. After a few sad moments I...

... picked up the handle and decided this was my new lawn mower and it was pretty cool too.

Sticking the keys in the ignition of my car.

Ready to cruise!

My great grandma sent me these awesome ground cherries. I could not wait to dig in and eat them. Yummy!

OK Dad, I am ready to go outside!

Do you all know how much I love hummus? Well, if you don't know... I LOVE HUMMUS! I don't need crackers, rice cakes, or bread. Hand me a (kid friendly) knife and I am ready!

Tasty!

I think it is better with every bite. By the way, one container lasts me about two sittings!

Our first date... Courageous!!!

2011-10-26T09:17:00.000-05:00

Yes, it finally happened. Brandon and I went on our very first date. Well, we went on our first date as parents anyway. Brandon’s parents were in town for the weekend. They had been here for a few days and M was getting pretty comfortable with them. We decided to go to a 3:55 showing of the movie Courageous and M did so well. Brandon’s parents actually played outside with him the entire time. They went to the park, walked, and watched Big Trucks and other vehicles on the main street. Since the harbor is closing soon they were even able to see some BIG boats which was quite a thrill for M I am sure. There were points during the movie where I was just totally freaking out that we left him, but we knew we left him with very capable people who really love him so we were able to enjoy the show.

Courageous was SUPER! I was so impressed with both the content and the quality. Some of the previous Sherwood movies were not quite as professional, but it was quite hard to even think that a church produced this movie. Very impressive. As for the story line, I don’t feel like I can really share anything because I don’t want to spoil anything, but what I can recommend is that EVERYONE SEE THIS MOVIE!!!!!

Will I be a little nervous to leave M next time? Yes, of course. I know it will get easier with time, but this was a great first experience... and let me tell you I was almost jumping out of the car while it was moving trying to get to my little man once we got home.

It's a boy!!

2011-10-26T09:03:00.001-05:00

Note: This was written on 10.16.11 and never got posted... opps!

No, this isn't some big announcement about another adoption. Truth be told, if there are any prayer warriors out there who want to pray for us as we seek God's direction for future children that would be awesome. We are at a loss for which country to go with and are hoping for a neon sign soon :)

Back to the title... TODAY marks me “due date” in a sense. 9 months ago today we landed in the US with our son. Yes, he does feel like my son. Yes, some days it is still really really hard to parent my screaming toddler, but my weariness is not mixed with doubts or second guesses. I know he is my son. I am in awe of the attachment process and how right on it was about the whole 9 month thing. You can read about my early reflections on attachment HERE. Seriously, recently as I have been praying about another adoption I have thought things like, “International adoption seems scary” and “could we really adopt?” That is right friends, my mind has forgotten in many ways that M came to our family through adoption. Now, I don't want to confuse you all. Adoption is a huge part of our lives. Ethiopia is a huge part of our lives. We love and celebrate both, but these thoughts come from an attachment perspective and are really amazing actually. Love and attachment were not instant as a fairy tale might depict, but they came and wow it is incredible!

We made it... and it just keeps getting better!

Celebrating Jack’s Life

2011-10-26T09:02:00.000-05:00

Jack and the Keller family recently had a Celebration of Life night. Oh how we wished that we could be there. Two LONG trips in just a couple of weeks are more than we could handle, but I wanted to share with all of you and with Jack what we would have said if we were able to be there, and especially if we would have been given the opportunity to share how Jack and Sarah have blessed our lives with the group!

Jack, each time we look at our son we are reminded of your life and of God's work in your life! Many of you know that the Keller family was seeking to add to their family through the miracle of adoption and received a referral for a baby named “M.” You then might know that everything started to go wrong and they had to release M's referral, told he would never be able to be adopted. In time they received word that he could be adopted, but the timing of his homecoming would be the same as Sarah's due date with sweet Andrew. Once again they had to lay this little man down, trusting that God had a different plan for M. Jack wrote to the adoption agency asking if we could receive the referral for M. We were using the same agency and about number 29 on the waiting list. He was told that wasn't possible and M's referral was given to a specific family. Another family received and declined his referral and M was then listed as special needs due to some delays. This meant that our family, who was approved for special needs was more of a possibility. Our agency contacted the Keller's and asked about us and we were called the same day with the great news that we could receive M's referral. As I write this he has been home for 9 months today. He is a joy and a delight, and a testimony to the greatness of our God and to the faithfulness and prayer of Jack Keller.

You see, the reason that we are sharing the story above is because Jack and Sarah carried our son in their hearts for over half a year. Jack specifically would pray a blessing from afar over him each day. M should have died in Ethiopia. He was so very near death, but I fully believe that Jack and Sarah's faithfulness and obedience to pray and care for M sustained his life, protected his heart, nurtured his spirit, and prepared the soil within him for Jesus! M's paperwork coming through was another testimony to prayer as our agency just believed their was no way it would happen. Our God reminds us that nothing is impossible with Him in charge. He reminds us that He so perfectly cares for every image bearer on the planet. Our son, a once starving orphan in Africa was and is very important to our heavenly Father.

Jack your model of love for your sons is something that we have appreciated and hope that we can parent our children as you do. Even through pain your boys see you as their hero, their mighty daddy, their “mo-mo” companion. We pray that your boys hearts will be etched with this model and they will one day be dads just like their own. Your love for your bride is so sweet, tender, and beautiful. We pray that many marriages are currently enriched and will be for generations to come because of your model of self less love for your Sarah. Your love for your King is so Awesome! Before we knew you like we do now, we watched you cling to Jesus as you waited for lungs. Now, we watch you cling to Jesus as you wait to see Him face to face.

Jack, thank you for showing us each day how to really live!

Our time with Jack

2011-10-26T09:00:00.001-05:00

This post has been in my head and heart for weeks. I really don't know what to say what I want to say even after weeks of thinking about it, but I pray that this post will honor Jack and Sarah and paint of a picture for all of you and for our son as he grows about our time with Jack.

A couple of weeks ago we read HERE about some very hard news that our friends Sarah and Jack Keller received. As many of you know Sarah and Jack were our son's first referral family. If you don't know the story, please read HERE how God did an amazing work to lead M to our family through the Keller family.

Before I tell the story about things of recent I want to go back and tell about August 8th 2008. If you just read (or re-read like me) the referral story, you might think I wrote the wrong year... but I didn't. August 8th 2008 was the day that Sarah and I and other dear friends hung out on our college campus for a mini-reunion. Sarah and I were talking about adoption a mile a minute and my heart was racing and envying her as she told about their home study and the Ethiopia program with their agency. One year later to the day our son was born in Ethiopia... isn't God amazing.

Fast Forward to present day. Our dear Jack received news that his journey to meet Jesus in heaven will come more quickly than many of us. Yes, that is my round about way of saying that he learned that this cancer will take his earthly life. Because of his transplant the time frames are not clear so Brandon and I talked a lot and decided that M and I would make the long trip to Fargo alone and as soon as possible. The details all fell into place and and we planned a quick trip heading there on a Wednesday and coming home on a Saturday. I was pretty scared to make the drive along with M since he is not a car ride fan and since it is about 10 driving hours away from our current home.

The drive:
Wednesday morning we woke up to beautiful fall weather. We packed and prayed and headed on our journey. M did SO WELL overall, though as lunch time neared he was starting to melt. He was screaming EAT from the back seat and having never driven on the road and realizing that it didn't have wayside rest areas I was in a panic. It seemed we were in the middle of no where and there was so little I could do. I told M I was sorry and prayed... well actually, I cried out to God for help. No sooner had I prayed that I saw the steeple of a church. I then noticed the sign reading Evangelical Free (our denomination) and decided to take the exit and follow the service road and prayed for a kind receptionist who would allow us a microwave and a spot to sit and eat and change M's diaper. It was beautiful so we could eat outside if needed and it just felt right. I carried M inside and soon realized it was also a private school at lunch time and their were children every where. We were very warmly greeting by strangers and allowed to eat with the teachers. M was then blessed to play with some pre-schoolers on the playground and I had wonderful conversation with new friends. The stop wore out my son and he then napped for over an hour which was also a miracle. I am so in awe of God's provision for us as we traveled. The rest of the trip went smoothly and we arrived at “the farm” just after 8:00pm.

We got to spend lots of great time with Jack and Sarah and their two blessings on Thursday and Friday. Before I talk about that I must mention that we also were able to spend great time with the wonderful family who hosted us and another dear friend and her sons. We also got to be pretend grandparents for a Kindergarten class, visit my college campus, visit the church I worked at and met Brandon at, and of course an ethic food store. Everything went so quickly and we missed seeing so many dear friends, but we will be back again before too long... this summer hopefully!

When we arrived at the Keller's Jack was at work so we hung out with Sarah and the little guys. M was able to meet Jack's parents who he warmed up to quite nicely and I am hoping at least one quality photo was taken. M did lots of playing with Aaron (he pronounces it something like how he says hummus as Sarah and I were confused that he was hungry and he was just looking for his buddy) and baby Andrew, who he calls Anne-June. The boys played together quite well and have the same passions for trucks, dancing, playing outside, and garbage day! Their might have been a few times that they both wanted the same loader or garbage truck, but over all they did great. Mikias was able to have some cuddle times with both Sarah and Jack. He and Jack had fun dancing together, listening to music, looking at books, playing with trucks, and just being silly. We all treasured time we could spend together. The big boys got to have a bath together and Jack got to give Mikias a bottle and a cuddle.

Spending time with the Keller's was so surreal. They are so special to us. They are the reason we have our son... the reason we are parents. I was so struck by the way they lived each day to the full full fullest! Every moment is treasured at that house. Every family should live this way, but we just don't. Our lives our so busy and so full that we don't take time to live in the moment. I learned so much from them about how to be a mom, a wife, a daughter of the King. I treasured my tiny talks with Sarah during naps. We talked about so many different and special things. Sarah and I have such similar views on so many things so when two kindred spirits get together the topics easily jump from cooking, to schooling, to books we are reading, talks we are hearing, church life, family and more.

I got LOTS of video footage while we were there. I decided quickly to let Sarah handle the still shots and I would stick to video as trying to do both was too hard. I admit that I am not sure what the finished product will be like as I was often so touched and moved and emotion filled while shooting that I would look at the screen and realize I was recording the floor. Hopefully some moments will be captured for our families to share for years to come.

Before we left Jack gave M a special gift. He read one of those talking Hallmark books to our son and that book is something we will always treasure. To say M likes to listen to the book would be an understatement. He can listen to it over and over and over again. While listening he just smilies and says “Jack” :) Jack also prayed a blessing over M. This is something that he did from afar during the entire adoption process. It was so special for all of us to think about the miracle it was that M had made it to America. He was in a home... my home... my family... my heart, yet theirs too. M's adoption is both International and Domestic in my opinion. Watching M with Jack was like seeing M with his birth father in a way. I can't describe it in words that make sense, but it was truly AWEsome.

God is so faithful. We were so blessed to be able to celebrate His faithfulness with Sarah and Jack. Leaving their home brought tears to my eyes. My heart was filled with joy and I knew that 24 hours in the car with my little man were TOTALLY worth it for our time with the Kellers.

KaWaii Love

2011-09-28T21:05:00.003-05:00

While I may never get to Hawaii, my son's bottom loves Kawaii brand diapers. I just wanted to let those considering cloth to check them out as they are SO MUCH cheaper than other brands we looked at and other brands we own. So far we have had many fewer leaks with them than any other type of diaper. My son's thin thighs are still an issue, but they work much better in this area that the Bum Genius typically work. Heather, I can't comment on your new blog (like blogger won't let me) so I mostly wrote this post just to make sure you know about them!

"Lava Bars" and other strange things

2011-09-28T20:46:00.002-05:00

This post is written to those of you who know our family in real life. Recently our local paper did an article about Celiac. They interviewed me and took photos at our home. Over all the article was quite good, but there were some errors large and small that I want to clarify for those who might have read it and wondered why in the world I said what I said. I will also attempt to post it on my FB page if it has not been removed from the newspaper site.

1. As the blog post title states "Lava Bars" as far as I know don't exist. M does really enjoy Lara Bars. They are nut bars that have lots of good protein for my son who doesn't really like meat. They are not chocolate energy bars as the article states. While they to have a chocolate variety, it says it may contain milk so we have never tried it.

2. This one is a BIG one. While my son was severely malnurished in his early months, he was NOT when we brought him home. The article states he was likely to have died in a week. This is so wrong. Yes, that was the case when he was 9 months old in ET, not upon coming home.

3. Gluten Free foods did not turn my son's life around. The article said that as soon as he tried gluten free foods he began to gain weight and breathe normally. It was actually dairy that made the HUGE difference for our son, not gluten.

4. I am not sure if the formula he was given in ET contained gluten, it did however contain dairy.

5. I never gave M rice based formula though I do give him rice and almond milk.

6. If I only ate gluten free products I would not starve to death, but I would be very unhealthy as specifically gf products are all made to replace gluten so they are all starches and that wouldn't be a very balanced diet.

7. This is a personal combo one. I would love for my husband to be called a pastor and not a Rev. I would also love for my son to be called my son or if appropriate my son who was adopted from Ethiopia, not me adopted son!

It was a long article and interviewed another family too. All it all, it was very good and if not for the stuff about M being near death when coming home I would not have written, but I wanted to honor the orphanage that cared for him and represent his health carefully and accurately.

Photos with family part 2

2011-09-28T19:27:00.009-05:00

I am BACK! I wanted to share some photos with you from my trip to visit all of daddy's family. I got to meet so many fun people and play with my super cool cousin A! Here are a few of my favorite pictures.

~M

After a long long long car ride, it was great to be sitting on Grandpa's lap listening to a good book!

Can you believe my great aunt gave me this awesome lawn mower! My cousin and I really love playing with it and my best bud L likes it too. Really, everyone loves it!

I was about to give an "all right" to my new friend T. He loved playing chase with me. His brother T is super fun too.

A and I got a lot of good work done on a special computer just for us!

G.G. was teaching me a new version of Patty Cake. It was very fun to "toss em in a pan" with her!

This is G.G. my Grandpa's mommy. She has 3 great grandsons and wanted a photo of all of them. Seriously, the whole room was taking photos and this is apparently the best one anyone got. If you don't believe me, you should see the ones I didn't post.

Don't mind me, I am just watching some cows and dogs!

Grandma's brother let me sit on a big tractor. It had a cool wheel. I am a good tractor driver.

Working on my computer is so much fun. It is amazing how many screens I get get up in a second or two. My favorite computer activity is turning the computer off and on as quickly as possible. The noises it makes are glorious. (Note, this computer is broken, but amazingly still allows a couple of things to open...providing HOURS of fun for a toddler or two!)

I was feeling cool!

Yes, there are athletic Ethiopian cowboys. I know many of you were wondering.

Hanging out with Great Grandma and Grandma and Daddy means there are 4 generations together. I still don't know what that means. I do know that Great Grandma lives a a great place with lots of radios for me and treats for daddy and nurses that like to smile at me.

My family!

Mom, really? Oh well, it is a good shot of my belly button!

I could not figure out how to get the tractor to fit down the slide.

The tractor was also too small to ride. I am not really sure with it was for if I can't ride it or put it down the slide.

My big cousin is so fun. He got all these for us to jump on. I didn't know how to jump then, but I can really jump now so next time I will be a pro... just like my cousin.

Daddy and I were driving Grandpa's boat. It went fast and loud so I loved it!

The beach is so lovely. The water was warm and I could have stayed there all day.

My family enjoying the beach together.

The next generation of tubers? A and I were not super excited about our tube ride, but our daddy's sure had fun later once we were safely in the boat eating chips!

I had so much fun in the water with Mommy. It was relaxing for my body, though whenever I said down Mommy would not set me down. I am not sure why. (Note, this is not my favorite photo of me, but I am determined to share photos that are cute of my son and not worry so much how the mommy looks in the shot.)

I learned how to do the back float from Mommy.

I have an apple! Oh yea, and I am getting one last photo with these two wonderful people before the LONG car ride home.

Photos with family part one

2011-09-20T19:16:00.008-05:00

This summer my family and I traveled all over the mid-west spending time with family. The first week we were with Mommy's family. We had lots of fun at a family reunion, playing at parks, going to the cabin, playing at the water park two times, and just being silly. Mommy's cousins took lots of great photos at the reunion so we will have to get time some day and put them up... sorry we don't have more to share.
~M

We went on a tractor ride (actually a hayride) and I got to sit by Paul and Kelly! I really really like them. Mom and Dad were there too!

Hanging out with some really cool big boys.

Grandma and Grandpa gave me that really cool pet clinic and best of all, it has keys. The keys also work to start my car and open doors at home.

I admit, I was a little fearful of all the water at first. This little bubble water thing was my speed.

Then I found these BIG water shooters and they were pretty cool too!

Can you believe my grandpa (the guy next to me) used to ride this horse too? Pretty sweet!

You sure can tell we are related!

Grandpa, I am trying to smile for the camera!

If you mess with Mommy you have to face me and Grandpa and we are pretty tough!

Hanging out with Grandpa's mommy and daddy at the cabin. Mommy thinks this is a really cool photo.

Great Grandpa has lots of caps that he shares with me!

Ride the horsey!

Grandma, I can't find many photos of you... this is all we had... shocking. I guess Grandpa and I just pose together more. You are a wonderful grandma. We should take more pictures together!

My first time fishing. I didn't catch anything, but I did release my bobber and Grandma had to land it!

My fishing buddy, Grandpa!

In a BIG TRUCK (loader) with Daddy!

I am ready for a long day of lawn mowing... anyone hiring?

Riding a pelican is hard work, good thing Grandpa is helping me!

What? I can't work for NASA??? But I love riding rockets, and I am so good at it!

My second time to the park I went down the big slide. Mommy lifted me up high so I wouldn't go under when we hit the water. I just wanted to go again and again!

Stay tuned for part two of my vacation. My assistant (Mommy) is ready to be done blogging for the night!

Turning 2... the photo version

2011-09-20T18:47:00.003-05:00

My Birthday happened over a month ago, but now that I am 2 things are getting pretty busy at our house. I have a lot of running, making echos (screaming), dancing, and laughing to do, but I am really to reflect on my 2nd Birthday and my 1st Birthday home.

Wearing Grandpa's shoes is a great way to start the day. I also had my keys so I was ready for the day. Mommy likes me to wear real clothes and not PJ's though so I guess I wasn't quite ready.

OK everyone, I was excited... check out my gifts and my amazing shirt that my friend L let me wear!

Daddy, this train is moving on the track, I just can't believe it. Put on another track as fast as you can!

I sure like my sleeping bag from L!

AT THE ZOO!!!!!

Walking at the zoo with Grandma and Grandpa. It a long way to the monkeys!

Mom and Dad were clearly more impressed with the elephant than I was. I mean, where did my rice cake go?

Am I the only one concerned about how close Grandpa took me to the giraffe?

My very own Banana Bread Birthday Cake! I blew out the candle all by myself!

Since I love standing in the middle of the action I am so glad some friends gave me this awesome paper and crayons. I never knew I liked to color this much!

It was a great day. I am thinking about making every day my Birthday, but mommy says I am growing to fast already so I guess I will make her happy and stay 2 for a while!

8 months home!!!!

2011-09-17T14:32:00.000-05:00

It is hard to believe that last Friday (16th) marked EIGHT months home with our sweet son. Life has been anything but calm the last few months and this has of course led to very few blog posts. Sometimes I ponder the fact that friends of mine with MANY more children than me are able to stay caught up on their blogs and yet here I sit, always months behind and too tired to talk about them even when I have time to write. Now as I write I wonder who is actually reading this blog anymore.

If you recall, right after M came home I wrote an entry about attachment and 9 months and 20 minutes being the length of time it takes to really attach (like a bio pregnancy and birth). A couple of months ago when things were going pretty well I was totally believing this data and excited to think about how I would be feeling at the 9 months mark. Now, as we cross 8 months we have found ourselves back in a place of sleeplessness and sadness throughout the day. This type of life is hard to maintain. M wakes many times throughout the night at then is up at 4:00 am for the day only taking a one hour nap in the afternoon. This began a couple of weeks ago and is really taking its toll. On top of that M has been leaking though diapers right and left turning me into a laundry machine. Through all of this I have been having major lower back pain on my left side making is demands to be held emotionally and physically painful.

Well... the whole sob story above has a point, and it isn’t a cry for sympathy, potato chips and chocolate. I came to the revelation a few minutes ago that we are right on schedule with this attachment thing. I began thinking about women I know who are 8 months pregnant. Their emotions are all over the place. They are not sleeping well at night either. They are dealing with their own bladder issues. They have intense lower back pain. They are gaining weight and dealing with food cravings too, oh I might not have mentioned that one above :) You see, I guess it is all normal. It is all healthy. It is all HARD, but is continues to be GOOD!

In the past months I have seen our son recognize so fully that we are his parents. He is attaching well. He doesn’t just cry at night, he cries “MOMMY” and is soothed when he knows that I am there. He is also attaching well to our home. After two weeks of visiting family around the mid-west he spent days running from room to room saying “Home” which almost brought me to tears. M has developed great bonds with the people at our church and loves being there and playing will all his great friends. It is such a joy to see him run off with the group and to see their care for my little man.

General M update:

~He is talking like crazy and says words so cute that even as we work with pronunciation my heart will be sad when the words don’t sound as cute anymore. A couple of favorite I can think of right now are Dowm = down, Mallmut = walnut and Mall = small.

~He is really into dancing and singing and loves to have mommy copy what he does and how he moves. He also says “Walk Mommy” and wants me to follow him swinging my arms like a speed walker. He also likes to run and run in circles which makes me quite dizzy.

~ He love to go for walks in the stroller, esp. with his best bud L. Sadly, L and M do not like wooded paths. This was discovered late last week and many tears were shed as we made our way back to the land of garbage trucks, dogs, big trucks, and buses.

~He loves Nicole C. Mullen music and says “Mullmen” wanting to listen to it. He sure has dancing in his genes. Watching him move and groove is awesome.

~He loves reading books (esp with big trucks, tractors, diggers, fire trucks, dogs and other important things). He enjoys a couple of Bible stories, but mainly just likes the line “he stumbled, he staggered, and CRASH fell dead” and enjoys pounding the book when I say crash.

~He has used the toilet a couple of times, but prefers the diaper, which is OK for now. We just got some new diapers in the mail yesterday and I really like them so far. They are Kawaii brand and are overnight heavy wetters which my son is day and night. They are a great price and super cute. The hardest part of me is all the snaps. My fingers have issues with them which I know is silly, but they do. I wish they were available in hook and latch, but it makes me more thankful that most of my diapers don’t have snaps.

~Funny poo story... this should really be its own entry, but I have come to the conclusion that the few of you that still read this blog don’t mind my creativity as much as you want to hear how your grandson is doing ;) So, last Saturday afternoon M woke up from his nap and I changed him. We were then dancing around when I stepped in something. I thought it was mashed banana, but I was very wrong. When I looked down I realized that poo was all over my foot, and all over my son. I carried him to the changing table and called for back up (daddy). He came home and dealt with the diaper while I dealt with my foot and went back to scout out the scene of the incident. Luckily there was only one spot, sadly it was quite ground into the carpet by my foot and major work had to be done. Our carpet is new and plush, thick, great at concealing things... not so great for poo removal! In then end I had to use my fingernails to pull it up bit by bit. Finally when it was all clean I cut my nails as low as they could go and gave myself a good scrub.

~He is still very interested in baby food vs. big people food. He does eat fruit, cracker bread type things, nuts, raisins etc, but overall depends on mommy made baby food for nutrition. All we can do is try and wait and keep the blender going.

~ Recently M and I were outside on a warmish fall day and I said, “We should go in the house and warm up the chili.” He looked at me and said “cold” while wrapping his arms around himself pretending to shiver. I asked him to give me a high five for that one. He is too funny!

~ This weekend he invented a game with his pen. We took the ink element out of a pen so he could play with it. He attaches the cap very loosely and then gives the bottom of the pan a cast (think fishing) and the cap goes flying. He has entertained himself for over 30 minutes (a REALLY LONG TIME for him) doing this in the back couple of days.

~ He loves pushing things around including several push toys which have taken over our closets and walls. He still enjoys pushing our chairs around and even the pretend lawnmower every once in a while.

~He loves climbing on kitchen chairs, but only when we are around. I am thankful that he is quite a careful little man. He is only daring when we are near which is great.

~He has moved on up to 18 mo. clothes for the most part, though still wears some 12 months which basically means there are clothes EVERYWHERE in his room. The thing with little ones is you can still use short sleeved onesies under long sleeve shirts so we are working from about 5 bins of clothes right now and there is a small clothes explosion his his room. 2 year olds are not interested in having mommy check and see what fits so I have to test and see and he is often tripping over pants that are too long or sporting high waters which are too short. The funny thing is that while we have over 30 pairs of 18 month size pants I am sure we will wear only a few as he still is really only into soft knit pants and a couple of other pairs I have convinced him are also soft.

~ Brandon and I are both doing well (minus the whole lack of sleep, back pain, emotional trauma discussed above). Brandon’s new sermon series is great and our church has lots of great options from spiritual growth this fall. Things are always exciting at church. I am excited for my Sr. High girls small group to start tomorrow night. Having “girls” in my life again will be a great blessing!

~ God is faithful and we continue to learn more and more each day how to surrender to Him what is His (which by the way is everything)!

TWO my son is TWO!

2011-08-09T20:18:00.004-05:00

I can't believe that the little man I met last November in ET is now two years old. We had a great time celebrating M's life yesterday. We had time with Brandon's parents, presents, a trip to the zoo, and dinner with two men from India. Yes, the dinner thing was a bit odd, but our church was hosting them and we wanted to host a meal as well. It was a great evening and we are very excited to partner with them in ministry.

His 2 year check up went very well. We have very exciting news! M is ON THE CHARTS!!! He is in the 2nd percentile for height and weight! He grew 3, yes THREE inches in the last 3 months from 28.5 to 31.5. Way to go young man!

I thought I would show you some photos of M from 17 months until 2 years. I am so excited to see all the photos together as seeing him every day really prevents me from knowing just how much he has grown.

17 months and 3 days 1.11.11 (ET gotcha day)

18 months 2.8.11

19 months 3.8.11

20 months 4.8.11

21 months 5.8.11

22 months 6.8.11

23 months 7.8.11

2 years 8.8.11

Pool, Potty, Playdates and so much more!

2011-08-03T18:30:00.008-05:00

Hey friends, M here... it has been a while... have you missed me?

This summer I learned about this amazing thing... it is called a pool! For those who don't know it is a bathtub outside and you wear clothes and splash hard. (Grandma has a great photo from the pool but I lost it so I will post it when I find it)

This is the life!!! (With his love for the pool we can't wait to take him to a water park soon)

Daddy and I sat it this chair a lot for a while. Daddy had a bad hurt in his leg, but he read me lots of books and played with my kitty from the chair so it wasn't such a bad deal for me.

23 months old!!

Mommy is so funny when she is trying to get me laugh.

It is fun to sit on the toilet like a big boy. I went once, but right now I mostly pretend it is a cool chair and enjoy throwing things in the water. Mommy only lets me put a little bit of toilet paper in, but I have big plans and am just waiting for the opportunity.

Hmmm... I wonder what I can get out of this drawer of amazingness?

Success! A glow in the dark pen! I have also reached for several markers, but when I get those mommy grabs them quickly, not sure why?!

Usually I just grab the back of mommy's knee and cry. I appreciate that she thought me me and added these reigns to her knee... it is so much easier to pull her now!

Don't mind me, I am just playing with my "ma-mow" (lawn mower). It carpet really needed a trim!

So apparently you take one joy ride down the stairs and daddy and mommy install multiple gates around the house. I liked being a "helper" with all daddy's tools.

My family and me before the big parade.

We were all really excited for the parade to start. I even got to wear my Ergo. I have a monkey Ergo that I like to wear and mommy and daddy like it because it keeps me safe. I take very good care of my monkey.

My great friend let me wear her glasses. As you can see they fit perfectly and look great on me as well!

Another family photo, you would think it was time to send ET an adoption update or something! It's cool though because mommy and daddy are my favorite people so I am fine being featured with them.

These big boys are so much fun. Their mommy is my mommy's friend. We all went to the park together.

BIG TRUCKS!!!!!! I wish I was still sitting there right now!

Mommy's best friend Ni-nny (Nikky) has a cool phone. If I push the right button I get to see a doggy. Makes me laugh EVERY time!

So funny! I pushed the doggy button again. (Seriously, he pushed it close to 100 times and died laughing EVERY time)

Just hanging out at my table.

Having a big boy snack at my big boy table!

What is this all about mommy? (OK, after lots of good sales on produce out fridge was stocked. I was shocked by the wealth it contained as I thought about the MANY around the world without food. I pondered how we are not wealthy by American standards, but one look at our fridge by world standards and we look like royalty. This could really be a whole blog post, but since I am so behind... maybe it is just something for all of us to ponder and we open our fridges.)

Mommy's Birthday! I wore this shirt for her and decided that for today "M" could stand for Mommy! She let me open her presents, check out her cards, and give her kisses. So much fun!

This is where I spent the afternoon! My first major league baseball game.

Yes, this actually is the best photo from the game. I am sort of a mess without my nap.

Less than 5 minutes into the journey home I was out! What a good day!

Clot, Crash, and Catching up

2011-07-10T21:09:00.002-05:00

Our lives can change in an instant. Brandon and I have experienced a time recently that reminded us how frail life is and how much we need to treasure each moment.

For the past several weeks Brandon has had some pain in his leg. Not last week but the week before the pain, swelling, redness, and heat got intense and it was finally time to go to the doctor. Our doctor was very concerned and sent him on for an ultrasound which confirmed that he did indeed have a blood clot in his leg (above the knee). It is a DVT clot which is a scary kind with 1 in 3 clots breaking loose and traveling to the lungs. 1 in 3 people who experience the clot entering the lungs die. Yes, I said DIE! My healthy, young, thin, active husband got this report at the start of 4th of July weekend.

Because God is amazing and knew what we had in store for us my mom "happened" ;) to be staying with us at the time. We had the trip planned for a while, but the timing was perfect. Due to pain and fear Brandon spent the next several days trying to get comfortable and having my mom here was such a huge blessing. Those days were filled with creating simple memories and cherishing the moments. They were filled with deep conversations that most people our age don't have, things about death and "what would happen if's." They were days where we felt like Brandon had a bomb about to explode and we all waited and watched and prayed. Many of you heard about this through FB and prayed too. We sure felt every.single.prayer as God gave us peace and joy in the midst of extreme uncertainty. This doesn't mean that I didn't cry, that I didn't have fear, but through it all there was a peace.

On Wednesday we were blessed with a visit to our doctor with great results. The danger period was over and we could all breathe again. Physically, Brandon is still in quite a bit of pain, esp. with the Tylenol wears off. Please continue to pray for healing and a reduction of swelling and pain. Emotionally, we are drained and blessed. I think I tried to "be brave" and am now dealing with the emotions, but thankful that I learned so much about how deeply I treasure my amazing husband. I don't want to take him for granted and I call all of you to ponder this sometime. It is so easy for those we love the most to get taken for granted. It is easy to take life for granted.

In other news, the lack of blogging has been due in part to our computer crashing. Yes, at hard point in my life I could not communicate with others on FB, email, or blogging. This was not fun, but caused me to talk with the Lord about this even more, which was a very special thing. The whole computer crashing thing is sort of funny because most people would be a bit sad that this happened to them, but the timing was such that it was the least of our worries and we were pretty cool about the whole thing. Amazingly, Brandon was about to order a new hard drive and find installation instructions on-line and do the whole thing himself for under 100 dollars. We were quite sure we would need to buy a new computer, but we now think we might have a couple of good years left on our macbook. I am sure M is sad he won't gain a "toy" with this crash, but rest assured that he will do all he can to destroy it as often as I turn around ;)

OK, enough heavy stuff... here is an update on M the amazing!

~He is talking up a storm, saying over 100 words and learning new ones each hour. Right now he loves to say "big truck" "all right" "ready, set (not go)" "helper" (he says this ALL THE TIME) "lawn mower" "tractor" "kitty" "more" "dinosaur" "garbage truck" and many more, but those above are said over and over again and he babbles A LOT and then inserts one of his key words into the babble. We are pretty sure he is often talking about something because he uses hand gestures a lot.

~He sings all the time! Christ is Risen is has favorite, but he has many songs in his internal playlist and is humming all day long.

~He is a ham and works a crowd large or small. He loves hanging out with his "fan club" after church and knows how to escape from me so quickly running between all the people having conversations. I am so thankful for all his big friends who help keep him from falling down the stairs. Today he got to play the drums after church (first on a little monitor, then someone from sound turned them on for the whole church) so I would say he is being super spoiled, but loves every minute of it.

~He loves to swing and could do it hours a day! I enjoy the fresh air and talking with him as he swings. It brings back such great memories of pushing, D, G, E, and A when they were around his age. I always start with A and say A words and have him repeat them and sing about A and then move on to B. So crazy that I am finally doing these fun games with MY son!

~He is growing. He is now 23 months and in the last 2 months seems to (from our calculations) have gained 2 pounds, grown an inch, and his hc grew 2cm. YAHOO! He still fits in 6-9 mo and 9-12 mo clothing, but he sure looks more grown up to us! Still hoping he makes in up to an actual % at his 2 year check-up.

~He is feeding himself. We still help, but he can do most of it on his own. We mainly help to build attachment, but he is pretty good solo!

~ He played in a baby pool recently and loved it. We think he will be ready for the lake and water slides when we visit family this summer.

~He still has lots of crabby moments and sleep issues, but overall we know we have come a LONG way!

~He is a delight and we are so blessed to be his parents.

Sorry that this post is filled with sort of serious stuff and not very light and funny like usual, but I am quite tired and some of this stuff was just not super funny. After all the photos get added back on to the computer I (I guess M really) will have to do a photo blog which will be more entertaining.

Father's Day, Food Making, Feeding Myself, and other great Fotos!

2011-06-27T20:00:00.005-05:00

Yes I am back friends, I know you missed me. I have a busy life so I just can't post that often.

Mommy's cousin has a great camera and took this picture of me smiling.

Reminding the world that "I was worth the wait"

This is another Ba-pa of mine. He has a cozy lap.

Great Grandma just can't get enough of me!

22months old! This was right before Lukey's grandpa's funeral so mommy had to take it fast, but since I wear my shades and hat all the time mommy thinks it is pretty realistic of how I look these days!

Bye, see you later! I am getting into my fridge car!

Here I go!

Mommy and Daddy told everyone at church that even though they are going to love me, they need Jesus help. They prayed for me and stuff about when I am big. Right now I don't get it, but I think it was important. (Dedication Sunday)

Writing on a card for Ba-pa.

I might be little, but I NEED to eat watermelon like mommy so the knife really is essential. Don't worry mommy and daddy are close and it is mostly safe!

Daddy, I am not going to smile!

I am on to your silly faces trying to make me laugh and I am not going to do it!

Well, the washcloth is pretty funny, OK, I guess I can laugh a little bit.

I am a big "op-er" (helper) every day, but Banana Bread making day was especially taxing. So much stirring, and pouring, and tasting, and smashing... YUMMY!! (double click on this one and check out how dirty he got. Good thing he wasn't dressed for the day)

I got my dad the coolest Father's Day card ever. It had a dog on the front.

Speaking of hard work, coloring on all these signs took FOREVER, but Daddy liked it so it was worth it. I sure am glad he is my daddy, even if I am serious here! I love him SOOOOOO much!

I know, you all wish you had this awesome outfit. Sadly, elephant bibs like this are not made in every size.

Believe it friends, I am feeding myself!

Mom, is there something on my face?

I can put on lotion all by myself! (Good thing we use Cetaphil because M thinks that it is a food group!)

Diaper Liners and Bath Toys

2011-06-08T13:59:00.002-05:00

Wow, it is like the more I blog the more I want to blog :) Maybe I will get back in the swing of things after all.

So, I love cloth diapers. It pains me to use paper ones... and it pains M too (feel paper then feel cloth, which would you choose?). Anyway, I am not sure if all of you know the big cloth diaper secret that makes cloth diapers SUPER easy. Disposable Diaper Liners. I know what you are thinking... they are expensive and you have more waste, but this just isn't so. You can wash and re-use the liners MANY TIMES... meaning I have washed some over 30 times and keep reusing them.

What makes them great? Well, the poo falls on the liner and you tip the liner over the toilet and it just falls off... no diaper dunking! I LOVE IT!

Are all liners the same? NO! Real Nappies is the way to go! They others do not pass my test (the use and use and never have to toss test).

The Bonus? If the diaper is really bad, esp if you are in public places (yes, M wears cloth everywhere) you can simply toss or flush the liner and you don't have a wet bag full of poo to come home to! Our family gives them SIX thumbs up!

... bath toys...
We registered and received the sweetest bath toys that squirt water and are oh so fun, right? Well, when Brandon's family was in town his sister said, "I see you have the same problem with bath toys that we do." I had no clue what she was talking about. I did notice in the bath tub there were always little bits of blue or brown fuzz, but I thought it was M's toe lint... SILLY ME... it was actually nasty stuff from inside the bath toys... GROSS!!!! Since they left I was so repulsed with the crab that he had to be tossed. I tried to clean him out about 20 times and more black came out each time! The others are more washable. I have found that I need to pre-fill them with water and squirt it out a few times before the bath then they usually leave the bath water clean. The toys are still super cute, but the nasty stuff inside is just too much for me, so if are wanting clean bath toys you might just want to stick with the foam letters!

Photo Post... weeks overdue!

2011-06-07T19:44:00.010-05:00

Yes, I do realize that my son turns 22 months old tomorrow and this photo post includes photos from his 21 month photo shoot. If you read the post below you know we have been busy. I hope you enjoy them. M is a bit tired tonight so if his comments are not up to the normal standard, please give him some grace!

Weeeeeee!!!!! I love my new swing! Now daddy put one up for my best friend L too so we can both laugh in the breeze.

I am so glad to be 21 months old!

I just can't believe I am 21 months old!

Just checking to see how much of this chair I can fill!

Really mom, this is a bit of overkill with the 21 month photos. (Hey now M you never smile in photos so I have to post the good ones:)

One of my daily jobs is getting out the syrup and hot sauce. I just check them out, pretend to drink them, and put them back. Mom thinks it is funny that I don't try to sample anything else, but I know what I like!

I know you all wish you had these cool overalls! I mean I have a doggie ON MY OVERALLS can you believe it?! I still can't!

This is daddy's best friend L. Both our best friends have the same name. I think all best friends are called L, but I am not sure. I will have to ask my mom!
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*Note from mommy* The next photos are of our time with my family. I am still waiting for some photos from my mom's extended family and since I have received photos from others these are a bit out of order.

These are my "special people" We pray for them all the time and I finally got to meet them. They give great hugs and serve bottles just like mommy!
My thoughts: We were so blessed to see Sarah and Jack (jackkeller.org) while we were traveling. You all know from the referral story that our M is VERY special to them as they held him in their hearts for many months too.

This is my Jack. I am so glad I got to hang out with him!

Mommy gets all teary when she sees this photo. I don't know why, maybe I never will!

This is one of my great grandmas! Everywhere I go I have more grandmas. It is pretty great!

Hanging out with some of my "Greats"

Great Grandpa and I made a hat trade. I really got the better end of the deal on this one, but don't tell him ;)

Apparently I am too big to drive this tractor... but I won't stop trying!

I sure do love my "ba-pa" and my new clothes from cousin K!

This is my TRIPLE great aunt! She gave me my very own piano and purse PLUS she let me play with her walker so basically she is one cool lady!

Great Grandpa and I are practicing our serious face. We are really good at it!

Oh yea, I like to cruise the sidewalks at grandma's in this bad boy!

This is my uncle Bret and his girlfriend. I have no clue what a girl friend is, but I know I like her! They are really nice to me so I hope I can see them again soon.

Ba-pa has a shop full of tractors and big trucks. We got to go check them out. It was AMAZING! I got to sit is many different trucks and "vroommmmed" all over the place!

I sure wish I was hugging these two right now!

5.5 generations of mommy's family! Can I count Kitty as a generation? What is a generation?

4 generations at the farm!

This is a very exciting piece of paper. Mommy said it was like an "adoption ultrasound" whatever that means. I guess we got lots of money from an adoption tax refund and now I can become a brother some day. I sort of like being spoiled so I think I will be hard to care handle for a while so that they don't make me a brother too quickly!

This is me at the barber shop. This guy taught be to bump knuckles so he is pretty cool. He is WAY better at cutting hair than mommy and daddy!

I am always working... I washed all the letter magnets for mommy. I even washed some of the floor too! I am mommy's big helper!

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*note from mommy* The next photos are from Brandon's family's visit!

Yes, I admit that I used to be terrified of stuffed animals. Kids do silly things. Now I LOVE Kitty so much! I learned that Daddy had a cat named Kitty too and I got to meet him. He is sort of creepy, but I didn't show too much fear!

Hanging out with my cousin A and his mommy! His mommy is my daddy's sister AND my aunt. It is super confusing, I know!

It started raining during the street fair, but we still had a good time. Uncle C even got a fire hat!

Our family by the big lake... the lake is really behind us, trust me, I can't see it either but I know it is there. Yes, I know I look angry. I just like to do that in group photos. It is sort of my thing. I really do love my family.

Some of my favorite hands to hold! Walking in the sand at the beach. I am not sure how I feel about sand.

A and I had a GREAT time in the bath. We were dunking our heads under and splashing like crazy. I even washed A for a while. It was my best bath ever. I hope we can do that again soon. Sadly, they all got in the blue van and drove far away. I miss all my people!

*double clink on photos to enlarge them*

May is gone and June is here!

2011-06-05T22:42:00.000-05:00

We have truly been busy around here! We had house guests for a couple of days, one day of packing then we headed to see my family and friends (just M and me) for a week, then the day after we got home Brandon headed out for a training. The day after he got home his parents and sister and her family came and stayed for 5 days. That got us up to last Tuesday. Thursday and Friday were spent with a dear friend (momma to little L) who said good-bye to her dad early Saturday morning. Our hearts ache with them and their family. So that is the very short version of our May! I will unpack some of the highlights for you!

Updates on our little man:
~He is talking away and repeating many things we say. “Big Truck” is one of his favorite things to say. We are so thankful that daddy has a big truck in our garage. M is not a fan of stopping whatever he is doing for a diaper change (no matter how much he needs it) so reminding him that we will peak in the garage (where the diaper pail is stored) and see the big truck is very enticing.

~He is walking and even running well. He is still a bit stiff in the knees, but for 2 months of walking is doing amazingly well.

~He is still not a fan of big people food unless it is blended. No, he doesn’t have a chewing problem since he inhales about a package of rice cakes a day. Rice cakes are his favorite food, for sure! We have started adding plain peanut butter to them. He loves this and is a total mess when he is done, which for now I think is cute!

~He has been dairy free for over six weeks now and WOW has it changed him. He was once a very congested little guy with horrible digestion and now can go a long time without needing tissue and has much better poos! Great news on the bre@st milk front. I was able to pass along the milk to L’s mom so she would not have to worry about that during this hard time. I am so thankful that it is able to be used!

~Emotionally he is doing quite well. We keep rocking his world with guests and trips and schedules and he is taking it all in stride. He is doing so much better as we emerge from the cocoon. While visiting my family I was amazed and delighted to see him play with others and continually check-in with me. Once home he has been keeping up the pattern when we are with friends. The time in the cocoon and the continued focus on attachment have helped SO much. We still try very hard to cocoon every Monday. I know it won’t always be possible, but I try to not schedule anything for us that day. We do go on walks, but just the two of us. We read lots of books, listen to daddy’s message from the day before, dance, play, do laundry and relax. This doesn’t happen every week, but I try hard to make it happen because we both need it!

~ Sleeping? Well, overall, he is doing much better actually. When I think back to life when he was on dairy and pre-chiropractor I am shocked that we survived. He is still in our room, but that is a blessing because we feel like at this point we just all need sleep. He sleeps through the night in one sense. Yes, he wakes up several times, but as soon as I touch him he falls right back to sleep and I can do this in my sleep so I feel much more refreshed too. However, last night we had fireworks here. Yes, I live in a town that has MANY fireworks connected with many festivals each summer. Think Gilmore Girls’ Starshollow, seriously! We live up on a hill near the lake and at the perfect spot to really feel and hear the show. Poor M was SO SCARED that he was still shaking an hour after they were over. Today he was off all day. I am hoping tomorrow he will be back to his playful self.

~Napping: If he takes a morning nap he takes a better afternoon nap. If we skip the morning nap he will only take about 30 minutes in the afternoon and whine all evening. I am tired of systems to wean him from the am nap... it will happen when it happens :)

~After months of major stuffed animal fear he has fallen in love with “Kitty” a stuffed kitty that he carries around all the time. It is actually super sweet and enduring to see him show affection to the kitty. His new fear is grass!

~ He doesn’t like big car rides and cried (SCREAMED) for over two hours on the way to my parent’s house (8 total hours). I was thankful that we were their for a while so I could gear up for the ride home. Luckily he loves rest areas and really enjoys greeting every.single.person as they arrive. He says “hi” over and over getting louder and louder each time until the people respond. Good thing he is tiny and cute.

~Speaking of tiny, he continues to be at the .01 percentile for his height. I learned to start telling people “he is one” when they ask how old he is, because when I say “almost 22 months” I then have to tell a long story of failure to thrive, stunted growth etc. and those waiting in line at the grocery store were really just saying the baby equivalent of “how are you?” :) They expect “fine” so I give them “one” and they smile and say something like “and he is walking already” and I smile back and say that he has been for 2 months... and the conversation ends.

~ He continues to love his best friend L and they are so cute together. They defy all psychology books and actually engage with each other! What a blessing for them to have each other!

~I think I will let the photos (and M’s explanations of them) speak for themselves so I will save the details of our trip for a photo blog that I hope to do soon.

Updates on Brandon and Shelly:

~Really is there anything about us that is as interesting as things about our son? Most likely not, but I will write a few things anyway.

~Brandon finished his year of Next Network training in May. I know he is sad to say good-bye to his turbo group friends, but we are thankful that he no longer has to travel each month! We are so thankful for all the knowledge he has gained and the blessing that these training sessions and conferences have been. I know the Exponential conference is one that he will not soon forget!

~ I had a milestone night last Thursday night... I slept for over 9 hours for the first time in 2011!!!! Thursday night is Brandon’s night on duty with M and my night to recover from the last 6. Last week I didn’t wake up until 8:00am which felt amazing!

~I continue to want to blog about the book our Lifegroup read, and about vaccines, but it never seems to get done. To wet your appetite for the vaccine blog I will say that I have learned some things that shocked me! Did you know that many (most) vaccines are cultured using aborted human fetuses (yes, BABIES)? Well, I guess I gave away a huge part of my post, but for those of you who are pro-life and pro-vaccine, you have morally manufactured options, you just have to ask for them and know what you are talking about... in case I never write that blog post, google “morally manufactured vaccines” and you should find some good info.

~Brandon continues to preach through the book of Luke and I continue to truly enjoy each message when I listen to it later with M. We are still involved in a Lifegroup and are so blessed by the friendship, laugher, accountability, and joy it provides. I am done with iGnite for the year, but we finished the year very well and I left just amazed at the questions young children ask about God.

~Brandon meets weekly with some other men in the church for a more intense time of discipleship. It is such a blessing to him and I think to the men in the group. I am so thankful that he has this group. I am going to begin meeting with a high school girl each week for discipleship as well. We are very excited to begin studying Deuteronomy together. I have not gotten to meet with women as often as I did before M, but each time I am able to I am thankful.

~I am organizing “weekly weeders” for church this summer so I don’t have to weed each week. If it was left to me I am not sure it would ever get done. While my son might be scared of grass, he loves the street!

~We are starting a summer play group at area parks which I am very excited about. I know M will enjoy his Wednesday’s with the other children and I will enjoy the time I get to spend with the big people who love those little children!

~ This weekend we are going down to the City (like the actual City, one of the Big 3 in the US) and Brandon is speaking at a Gift of Adoption event. We are honored to be a part of this event and have been so blessed by Gift of Adoption.

~ In just 4 days we will celebrate 9 months since getting “the call” about our M. That is right, we have held him in our hearts for an entire pregnancy now. Each day the love grows, it is incredible!

~ Our summer schedule is being filled with Dr visits, trips to visit family, play dates, and church commitments. I continue to be in awe of our Sustaining Life giving Father in heaven who lavishes grace of me every day. Each day I am reminded more times than I can count of both my deep desire to try to control things and my total failure at trying to control things. I know that things work best when I live in surrender... and so I continue to yearn for surrender!!!

We are alive and we have photos to prove it!

2011-05-03T18:53:00.004-05:00

We are still alive! Jesus is Risen! Daddy is home! Life is good!
Brandon was at a conference in FL (poor guy right?) for almost an entire week. We missed him so much. I am finally able to get to the computer to post some photos and respond to emails that should have been responded to long ago. There is always more I want to post about, but never time to say all I want to say. Hopefully I will be "chatty" again soon and fill you in on all that we have been up to. In the meantime, my son is ready to share with you all that he has been up to!

I really enjoy coloring with these cool crayons. I also enjoy eating them. I know they taste nasty, but I can't help myself. I am also partial to throwing them across the room from time to time!

I have no clue what this photo is doing here... mommy, why is this photo here? (I decided to divide my mommy chores into days of the week. Monday is laundry day. Big pile I know, but besides diapers and some bedding I get all the clothes done in one day!)

Oh friends, this was a sad day. My beautiful car broke and life will never be the same again. Daddy took lots of photos of the damage, but I don't think I was insured so my car might be totaled.

Jesus is RISEN!!!! "De-dees AHHH" (That is how he says it then raises his hands:) This is my little family celebrating the Resurrected Jesus.

Mommy wanted me to smell this thing, I thought I was supposed to talk into it!

THEN I found this and wanted to talk into it like my daddy. It didn't work for me... I am going to have to get someone on that!

Mommy tired to get me to preach, but I am just not quite ready so I sat down!

I learned a great secret. If I wake up early on food making day... and then cry A LOT mommy will give in and let me sit on the counter. (Mommy was weak... daddy was gone and I gave in) Once on the counter I can sample all the lovely food coming out of the blender. First I stick my finger in the tray...

then lick on the tasty food! YUMMY!!!

Check out my tall hair before my haircut. I am NOT a haircut fan AT ALL! I didn't even know I could scream that loud. What an experience! My mommy will tell you all about it some day. I know my hair looks silly now, but I am ready to scream again if they ever get out the clippers to even things out!

This is me reading with daddy after my haircut. It was such an upsetting experience that I really need some time to cool off before bed!

Mommy says I am looking like a big boy here! I love finding my hat, shades, and mitten and wearing them whenever I can! I am not convinced that jeans are for me. They are so stiff and I am much more into soft pants! (I am wondering if M wants to have this disguise on after his haircut haha!)

Lots of news to share!

2011-04-21T20:44:00.000-05:00

Wow, it has been a while... I don't even know where to start!
*After writing the post* This is really long... I guess I was feeling "blog chatty" tonight!

Thank all of you that have been praying for Sarah and Jack! We are praising God that after a very scary time in the ICU Jack is still alive and doing quite well actually (this is from the last post I read, I know things can change in a second). We are praising God for the great family time they have been having. They have a long journey filled with unanswerable questions ahead of them, so please continue to pray for them and check their website for updates (jackkeller.org) We are thankful that God does have all of the answers and continue to pray that through the hard days and decisions they would rely on Him.

We have heard news of some families passing court while in Ethiopia! This is amazing. I was very excited to hear that one special little baby (tiny little T for my family who has seen the DVD's of our trip) passed court. He is so sick and really needs to come home soon! The future of time frames in ET adoptions is still quite up in the air and in need of prayer, but we rejoice with families who have received good news!

Our sweet boy continues to melt my heart with is charm and smile. I can't believe he has been home over 3 months and is now 20 months old... two good things to post about that came and went. I guess it is a good thing I keep a little book to record things as they happen because counting on the blog to record all events would not work.

Chiropractors, Dairy, and Soy OH MY!

(yes, this is a post within a post haha)

Last Tuesday we did end up taking him to a chiropractor for the first time. I admit, I was so nervous at first since he is such a little guy, but after MANY recommendations and prayers we felt it was the right thing to do. Dr. D is great. She is super gentle and great with kids. M's neck, mid-back, and pelvis (I think) we quite out of place at first. He has now gone 3 times, and last time she didn't even have to do anything with the mid-back as it stayed in place perfectly. We are now going to go for a week without treatment so we will see how that goes.

We talked a lot with Dr. D about the congestion issue. A huge part of M's lack of sleep (I think) is due to congestion. I can't imagine having a stuffed head every.single.night! After describing things to her she said to take him off dairy. Now, I will admit she isn't the first person to suggest this and my gut has told me to do it long ago. If you remember from a previous post we were given a GREAT supply of breast milk and I wanted with all my heart to continue to give it to our son until it was gone. Well, we almost made it. We have about a 2 week supply in the freezer.

Anyway, back to the story... Our lack of sleep drove us to take him off of his beloved dairy for 6 weeks. We decided that we can easily put him back on if we don't notice any changes and the milk will be just fine in the freezer.

Last Wednesday was his first day off of dairy. He ate a breakfast much like I eat and everything went down well. Then came bottle time. I decided to try him on almond milk since that is what I use and I believe it has the most nutrients. Well my dear son had other plans! M hated the almond milk and refused to drink it despite my many attempts. He took a morning nap but was so thirsty when he woke up. He did drink about an ounce of water but that was it. He was crying and saying "bu-tee" (bottle) over and over again and I knew we were in trouble. By 11:00 he was miserable and I had to call Brandon to come home for a few minutes so I could run to the store and get some other milk alternatives. I came home with soy, coconut, and rice milk. We opened the rice and HE DRANK IT! YAHOO!!! We were praising all praising God!

We noticed one huge change almost immediately... his stinky diapers were no longer stinky. We were amazed. This little man can have some nasty diapers and there was NO SMELL to them. In all my years of diaper changing M holds the record for the most foul scent and now the least scent. If I had been blindfolded I would have thought his diapers were just wet! This was all very exciting and lasted a day! Then we had to break open the coconut milk. The diapers got stinkier and he seemed more congested too. It is important to note that he had a cold at this time so we couldn't and still can't totally evaluate the congestion. Anyway, we ran out of coconut yesterday and started trying soy. He liked it well enough last night at bedtime, but this morning he wasn't happy. He was crying as he was going poo and then he had a foul smelling awful diaper... super nasty... tmi I know! The only different thing in his diet was the soy milk and the only strange ingredient was the soy. So there you have it, our son is not a soy man... for sure!

I cracked open the new rice milk I had purchased locally for almost FOUR dollars for 32oz! I poured it in a bottle and gave it to him this morning. I the proceeded to read on the box that the rice milk contains soy! SERIOUSLY??? What?? OK, rice milk is not the tastiest thing around and has very little nutrition. I would guess that most people who drink it are allergic to something and are using it as an alternative. Why would they put a common allergen in another kind of milk? I was so frustrated! This also meant that my still semi-cocooning son had no milk he could drink in our home.

We decided to head over to Trader Joes and see what we could find for M. He did so well on the drive which trilled this momma! It is 30 minutes each way. Our families live 7.5 driving hours from here so any successful car trip gets my excited!

We arrived at Trader Joes and found the milk wall. I asked a worker if we could open a rice milk to try and we would buy the milk, but I didn't want to buy lots of milk without trying any first. She said that we couldn't buy it, but she would open whatever one we wanted to try and pour us some and see if M liked it! We did and he did! YAHOO for Trader Joes! It was amazing of them to do this! The milk at Trader Joes is SO much cheaper than local prices. I was shocked that the 64oz box was 3.00. Yes that means that each big box at Trader Joes was FIVE DOLLARS cheaper than the same amount purchased locally. With all the rice milk I bought, plus my almond milk, and the canned coconut milk for cooking I figure I saved over SEVENTY dollars from what I would pay here. So, no matter how high the gas prices get, this family will be heading to Trader Joes often!

I gave M the rice milk this afternoon and amazingly by tonight his stinky diaper was again not stinky. I am seriously in shock!

Sleep is overall going better. I shudder to write this as it seems any time I make such a statement we take a really bad turn. M has been sleeping longer and better and has had a few really good nights. He had also had a couple of really bad nights. Monday night he was up from 1-4:00am talking, walking in bed and appearing wide awake. Oh those nights are hard. Dr. D said that M's early wake up pattern is called "larking" and it means that while he appears awake he is actually quite sleep deprived. We are no longer trying to wean him off of the morning nap. We are now trying to force him to take an am and pm nap every day. We are not always successful, but when we are he sleeps better at night. For him, the more he sleeps during the day the more he sleeps at night.

Other updates: He is jabbering all the time. He is saying many words and it talking all the time in his own language. He still loves to sing and dance and show off for anyone who cares to watch. He loves to praise the Lord!!!! At church, when the music starts the hands go up. He also raises his hands in praise to the Lord while listening to music at home. It is interesting when he does it too. At home when he hears the line "thank you for the cross" his hands go in the air. I am washing dishes and not trying to get him to do it at all, it is just him and Jesus! SO BEAUTIFUL! He LOVES the "Just One Prayer" Easter CD that we made back in 2004 at Salem! Way to go Andy K for producing a CD that 8 years later would minister to me and to M several times a day!

There is SO MUCH more to share, but this is already so long that I have most likely lost all readers but family by this point :) We thank you for every prayer you pray for our sleep and for wisdom on what to do. We can feel your prayers and they are sustaining us on the late nights and M as well! The joy and laughter he has the very few days when he has great sleep is such a reward. I wish his little body understood the reason for that wonderful feeling!

Parenthood is filled with opportunities for surrender! I am so thankful that God is in control and I have the opportunity to invite Jesus into every situation I encounter. Our Lifegroup book continues to minister to me and has really given me a fresh heart for the Gospel and for the Word! We are about to embark on a very busy time in the church year. Through all the late nights and early mornings we remember that the reason for it all is reflecting and celebrating. We are so excited to do these with our church family!

Life as a 20 month old

2011-04-10T19:54:00.003-05:00

"What can I say, I love to eat!"

"I could tell how much mommy wanted to get this picture so I pretended to sleep as well as I could!"

"See Great Grandma (and other baseball loving family members) I am ready for the season!"

"This is why I love to eat! Mommy makes all these tasty foods in a loud machine (blender) and then we pour them in the toys with all the boxes (ice-cube trays) and then we freeze them and put them in sacks. It is so colorful and saves us lots of money which is really important :) "

"Mommy likes this photo because she got this shirt with I was in Ethiopia and this is the first time she wore in when I was home. I like this photo because I am cute as usual."

"Yes Folks... I am TWENTY MONTHS OLD!"

"Mommy found this shirt just in time for me to wear it one time. I am not sure if I will go to TEDS (read the shirt) because it sounds a lot like teddy bear and I am not really sure of them right now, but I am glad daddy went to Trinity!"

"Daddy decided to roll up my pants so I wouldn't fall. He turned them into shorts. I really like showing a little leg so it was great with me. Mommy rolled her eyes and said that daddy should take a picture for the blog. I don't know why."

"Mommy wants all of you to know that she will post more soon about what is going on at our house. I am sure it won't be as interesting as my blog posts, but you should read it anyway."

Sometimes life is HARD!

2011-04-04T13:28:00.002-05:00

I am blogging today with a heavy heart. I have three hard things to talk about, to ask prayer for, to share with you dear friends.

The first has to deal with our amazing friends Sarah and Jack Keller. You may recognize their names from our referral story. If you don't go over to the side bar and click on "referral story" so you can be reminded of this AMAZING couple and the blessing that they have been to us. After that head over to their new website http://www.jackkeller.org and read "Jack's Story" then if you have time watch the video as well. Once you have learned all he has gone through head over to the blog. Only 2 entries will appear so you need to scroll back to get the full story. If you don't have time to do any of this, here is the short version. Jack is in deep need of your prayers as he is fighting as ugly cancer battle. This family is SO SPECIAL to us that my heart aches so deeply and I would ask you to commit to praying for great miracles for this family!

Whew... that was hard! Is there really more? Yes!

The second thing has to deal with adoptions in Ethiopia. If you are part of the adoption community this is no surprise to you, in fact, it is old news. Things in ET with adoptions are moving VERY slowly right now. Our hearts are sad as we think of people right behind us that are suddenly stuck and waiting. Our hearts break for the children waiting for their families. I could say a lot more about this, but it is better to read the blogs of those who are on the front lines, waiting for calls. Many of the families in my blog roll on the side fit into that category. They are so strong, so brave, so patient, and so tired and weary. Margaret, Heather, Tyra, Rebecca, Carrie, Kimberly, Kim, and Wendy are all bloggers I follow who are waiting. They represent just a small group of my waiting friends! My dear sisters and brothers, we are praying your children home every day! Please join me in praying for their sweet children to come home SOON!!!

I know... I should just stop here, but this one is personal and important!

Our sweet son has not been sleeping well lately. In fact the last 3 nights have been the WORST nights of sleep he has had. He is very clingy during the day and then wakes up about every 30 minutes at night with loud cries of fear and in deep need of comfort. Sometimes it takes him an hour to fall back to sleep and then he wakes up again minutes later. I am of course totally weary, but poor M is just so tired that he sometimes just throws himself on the ground (while playing) to cry. He has circles under his eyes. I know the families in the paragraph above would be hurt to think I was complaining about the blessing they long for. Honestly, it would be easy to do that as it is hard to do anything when my son is never sleeping and I am running on a few hours of sleep a night, but I am not writing this to vent or complain (must be because of my recent bean brownie and coffee consumption) but to ask you to pray for our dear son. He NEEDS sleep to function well from day to day, but more importantly to grow. He is sometimes getting half the recommended daily amount of sleep. I know that for a little one like him sleep is almost as important as food.

The CHANGE... Back into the cocoon we go!
We have been doing lots of playdates, taking M everywhere we go, trips to the store, church etc. Well, that is going to change. We think we may have over stimulated him in a huge way and are going to try to go back to the basics... LOTS of time at home with momma, and see if that can help him to feel more secure, to start sleeping for longer periods of time, to be more ready to come out of the cocoon a strong butterfly. My heart has just been so heavy as a mom as I think about what happens to actual butterflies who come out of the cocoon to early. I pray that this will not be the case for our son, but that we can redeem the time and learn from our mistakes.

I am so sorry for all those of you we REALLY WANT to have play dates with. I love play dates. I love seeing dear friends interact with my son (Just had to take a break to soothe my crying son...) but it can't happen for a while. You can ask me more personally, but basically the rules that were in place when we first came home are back into place for the most part. When we see signs of improvement we will let you all know. Again, it is very hard on me to do this, (in every way because socially it isn't fun to be cooped up alone either) but a hardship for a while is worth it for the attachment of my son! Please pray that God will give us His wisdom on this issue, and if our son's tears and fears are something else besides attachment that we will be wise to them quickly so that he will not have to endure un-needed pain of any sort.

Thank you dear friends for battling with us in these areas. We know the battle is real and we claim victory in Jesus' name!!!!

Thoughts and photos from my son!

2011-03-31T19:52:00.005-05:00

"My dad had a Birthday and he got lots of cards, presents, and a balloon. I am still playing with the balloon. I really enjoyed the wrapping paper and watching the light shine off daddy's new shoe horn."

"When I am done eating I do my best to feed mommy. She is a good grape eater. She eats so slowly and is never ready for the grapes when I offer them. I just put everything in my mouth at once. I try to show her my technique, but she has her own ideas."

"Check out my new wheels and my new hat! Every time mommy gets that hat out I know we are going to have an adventure. Walking with mommy is so much fun because we see dogs and birds and cars and every cool thing I can think of."

"This is my roller-coaster box. Daddy zooms me all around the family room in this thing and I LOVE IT! My box is falling apart, but I think daddy can put more and more tape on it so I can keep riding!"

"Mommy's daddy and mommy came to visit and Grandma let me play with her glasses. They were GREAT. Mommy and Daddy laughed so much when I would put them on. I don't know why."

"My grandpa is so much fun. I love to laugh with him, play with his watch, and pull his nose. He gives me wild rides on the exercise ball and I tire him out sometimes. I think he napped when I napped so we were both ready to play more later."

"I sure to love these too. All my grandparents are GREAT!"

"These are my special friends that mommy calls 'two sweet boys' on the blog. They came to visit today and brought me all sorts of cool things. I even got my own garbage truck! They are loud and fast and so much fun."

"Do you like my new look! Yes, I know I am handsome! Good night!"

*Don't forget to click on photos to enlarge them!

Big news at our house...

2011-03-27T19:32:00.003-05:00

WE HAVE A WALKER!!!!! M took his first steps today! This morning during daddy's message M took his first 4 steps in between me and a great friend C, L's mom. Why did he take his first steps without his daddy or a camera? Well, my friend was trying to get L to walk between her and someone else and he was doing well, he is really close. I said, "Wow, M would not do that. He is too stubborn (or something like that)" and of course he had to prove me wrong. My friend knew that these were the first steps and we just stared at each other in shock that it happened without Brandon or on camera.

He took a couple more steps (caught on camera) right after church, but was hungry, tired, and not in the mood. Then, after his nap he was in the family room with daddy and took many steps (again not on camera). I came in the stepping continued and we did LOTS of filming so grandparents, you will get to see some of his first steps!

Other news:
My parents were here this weekend and we had so much fun with them. M loves them and seeing them together warmed my heart so much. Their time here was way too short. I am thankful that we have plans to see them in May, June, August, Sept or Oct, and Christmas (and any other day they feel like visiting... HINT HINT). That is quite a few times when you live 8 hours apart!

M went 3 days in a row without a morning nap. Two of the days he took a long afternoon nap and then yesterday he took a short nap in the pm. This morning he was up early and I could tell he would not have been a happy baby at church so he took a 30 minute am nap and that was enough to get him through. Overall, sleeping continues to be such a struggle for us. Nights are very hard too. We would covet your prayers for us in this area. Yes, I would be fine with him never taking an am nap again. I know that almost 20 months is old for an am nap, but when you wake up at 5:00 it is very hard to make it until 1:00 without totally crashing! I thank those of you who have been praying because each day as I lay in bed at night I praise God that He sustained me that day. Some days are so hard that I am curious to see if He can do it, but He is a BIG GOD and He continues to sustain!

M went with me (and my dear friend C and her little boy L) to Whole Foods and Trader Joe's this week. We had a great time and got lots of wonderful treats and spent a whole lot of money. It is a good thing I go to Whole Foods once every six months because it is not a cheap place, but the best place for me to get my GFCF foods and other health things. I got lots of vitamins for M which seem to be going over well!

After a successful trip shopping on Wednesday I figured we could go to Aldi alone on Friday. Wow, was that a humbling experience. I need to say that I have taken children shopping with me MANY times over my years nannying so I was not a novice, but I sure looked like it :) So, M started out in the Ergo and then as we made our was through the store went back and forth from Ergo to cart, crying much of the time. When we arrived at the check-out he was in the Ergo and NOT willing to come out. He loves to tip his head WAY back in the Ergo so I had to use one hand to support him and could only unload my VERY FULL cart with one hand. It was taking so long that the lady behind me offered to help (humbled). Then the cashier said the total and I was shocked. I knew it was way more than the money I brought with me. I then had to dig through the cart and find all the expensive items to be returned. Aldi is a cash only place and when you are used to using a card (and paying it off every month) it is hard to bring enough cash. Honestly, I checked my cash supply before leaving and thought I had enough. It would have been enough too if they didn't move a favorite item of mine to clearance (and are not going to restock it) so of course I had to buy 10! Anyway, as I dug through my cart the line was getting SO MUCH LONGER (humbled again). Then I had to pack up all my groceries. M was still in the Ergo and I was putting things into my amazing banana box. These boxes have gone with me to Aldi for many years now as they are so strong. While I was stacking I realized that the box was getting heavier and heavier. M wanted nothing to do with the cart and I was left to just stare at this box which I knew I couldn't lift (as he is in front of me). A woman with FOUR small children came over to me and said, "It looks like you could use some help" (HUMBLED) and I immediately took her up on her offer to lift the box into my cart. What a trip!

A photo post will come soon, but I am waiting on some photos from my mom's camera! We are so thankful for God's grace in our lives. I want to tell you all that I have a couple of posts brewing one is about vaccines and then other is about our life group study of the book "Good News For Those Trying Harder." I am learning much in each area!

He is growing!!

2011-03-13T20:06:00.010-05:00

"I sure to love hugging my mommy!"

"Do you like my new fort?"

"Check out this trick! I can't believe my mom was just storing this super cool toy in the cupboard. Good thing I found it!"

"I can't get over how handsome I am in this one."

"This is my grandma, she gives great hugs and has curly hair, just like me. I love to play with her curly hair. She has great glasses, but the whole time she was here I was allowed to touch them. When I get big, I am sure I will let babies touch my glasses!"

"You look like my daddy, but I know you are my grandpa! Thanks for reading me stories!"

"I love Grandma and Grandpa and my new tangiball."

"I turned 19 months! My cool owl shirt says hoot... and I know I am one!"

"See, here I am being a hoot!"

"L and I are so cool in the photo. We are just checking out the view... and looking at church... because that is where daddy works. L's daddy works there too!"

Has it been two weeks?

2011-03-13T19:52:00.002-05:00

I can't believe it has been two weeks since my last post... but it has! It is getting harder and harder to find time to blog. We have now been home 8 weeks! I am totally falling in love with our little man. He really is such a joy and a comedian too!

He is teething... again or still or something. It is intense. He is in so much pain which leads to lots of tears and very little sleep for my little man, and for me. We are talking about 9 hours in a 24 hour period... I struggle to sleep only 7 hours a night, but M seems to think it is enough! Oh well, this is just a phase, and I am trying to be a "time cherisher" not a wisher away ;)

So what have we been up to? Well, the usual of eating, diapers, short naps and more diapers. We have also had Dr. visits with a day full of them tomorrow! We have had lots of play dates with little L and M can even say his name! Brandon's parents came of a long weekend and we had great fun with them. I was a cooking machine when they were here and made and froze meals, cooked meats, and lots of baby food. It felt great to be productive, but I could hear them laughing in the next room and I ached that I couldn't be seeing what they were seeing. I missed him "naying" like a horse and stacking 3 blocks for the first time... It was a good ache that needed to happen. It totally reminded me that no matter how long the days can be, in the winter... alone with M all day... it is SO WORTH IT!

M turned 19 months and some new highlights (besides the horse sound and stacking blocks) are:
~saying many animal sounds
~bouncing on the exercise ball
~turning the walker with ease
~saying many new words all the time
~learning actions to lots of songs! His favorites today are the "wise man/foolish man" song and the "one little duck with the feather in his back" song. SO CUTE!
~doing sit-ups and saying "UP" loudly for each one... also grunting all the way up like an old man!
~writing with pens and pencils
~Eating Larabars! Yes, still super picky, but he likes Larabars... I think we must be related!

OK... time to find photos for a photo post!

We made it through the first 6 weeks!

2011-02-27T16:01:00.006-06:00

We have now officially been home (or at least landed at the airport) for six weeks. In some ways it feels like M has always been with us and in some ways it feels like we just left Ethiopia yesterday. I can tell you that I miss Ethiopia so much! I have a FB friend there right now and part of me longs to be there again, but am I ready for our son to have a sibling... not quite yet :)

This post will mostly be photos, but I just want to say that overall things are going very well! Last night was awful (understatement) as my son invited me to a "cry fest" from 10:30-4:00am! Neither of us slept that entire time. I am hoping this means he will sleep well tonight. I am feeling it today and know I will feel it ever more tomorrow.

The post below tells that we have started using cloth. We are also making about half of our baby food. I am not sure I care to learn how to do the meat stuff so I will just stick to fruits and veggies and blends of those and buy the meats :) Now, I will let our son explain the photos below!

"This is my dog. I love barking at him. He is covered with lots of new snow so now I just look our the window and bark and hope he can hear me." (Yes, the piece of plastic in the bush is his "dog" click on the photo to see it.)

"I love checking my reflection. Daddy and I like to do tricks together while I watch myself."

"I went to church last week for the first time. My mommy made me look all handsome. I am practicing my 'Praise the Lord' before we leave for church."

"I got to go in front of church and see everyone. They were all staring at me. I AM pretty cute."

"Whew! That was a big workout."

"I LOVE helping mommy with the laundry. All I have to do is empty the basket on the floor and she calls me her 'big helper'... I could get used to it!"

"I have lots to catch up on with my computer. I have to brush up on my skills for future blog posts." (Note: so glad we kept old electronics :)

"I love to Praise the Lord while I eat!"

"I love to cook with my pot just like mommy's. I mostly cook my Valentines cards and Magnadoodle pieces!"

"I finally figured out this standing thing! Daddy thinks he is so funny. He put a lamb in my pants. I pretended not to notice of about 30 minutes."

"Then I decided to give the lamb a ride around the house. I think he liked it. Well, that is what I have been up to. My teeth are killing me so I really need to cry again. Catch you later."

My little man in cloth!

2011-02-27T15:36:00.003-06:00

(Our sons thoughts on cloth)
"NO MOMMY... Don't make me wear these things!" (This was the "pre-wash" folks, they are not dirty)

"Well at least I will be able to pull these things off and attempt to knock over that rack every other day."

"Maybe this extra padding in the back could be a good thing. It is softer when I fall and balances out my tummy."

(Mommy's thoughts on cloth diapers)

For quite some time now I have liked the idea of cloth diapers. I am not a "green machine" though I know that God did give us dominion over His creation and I do take that seriously and try to care for the earth. I am a HUGE penny pincher. I shop sale ads, appreciate Aldi A LOT, re-use and make do, buy second hand, and go without. Yes, I was going to do cloth diapers to save money.

We were blessed with a total of 17 cloth diapers given to us as gifts as well as some disposable liners and wet bags. I purchased a diaper pail with a gift card and my only true diaper purchases were 2 re-usable bags for the diaper pail, which was not a huge investment.

So in theory I had everything I needed. Sadly, my son's digestive system was not aware of my cloth diaper plan :) I decided this week that we would try to just do cloth half time and disposable half time. This works great right now as we got LOTS of disposable as gifts and if we only do 3 a day we have enough to last us 4 or 5 months!

My little man is fine switching back and forth. Cloth is all he knew until he came here so they have not phased him at all. He did have one nasty eruption in cloth which sort of made me second guess the whole thing, but I am sticking with it!

For those of you curious about M's digestive issues. His doctor did suggest to go off dairy which we tried for one bottle which he was NOT a fan of. I am quite sure it isn't dairy as he never has dairy at meals and every dirty diaper is right after a meal. I suspected gluten and have taken that out of his diet for over a week and I am not noticing a huge improvement. I am thinking we might need to start "collecting" again and run another set of samples to the lab to test for parasites. Since he is cutting THREE molars right now I am going to wait a bit longer to make any decisions.

Removing a rock from the pile with each wake up call!

2011-02-22T13:51:00.002-06:00

If you have spent much time around me in the last 18 months you know about how much I love the "pile of rocks" analogy. This is a picture of the cycle of need, but I find a way to weave this illustration into almost any conversation. This is an illustration we learned from the "Because They Waited" training for our adoption. This training is WONDERFUL and we highly recommend it.

Children who come home immediately to a primary caregiver are (in most families) allowed to have MANY cycles of need met each day. When they are hungry they cry and are fed, when they are wet they cry and are changed, when they are scared they are picked up and loved on etc. Children who grow up in an orphanage or somewhere with less than optimal care experience the opposite. They have cycle after cycle of unmet needs. It is heartbreaking to fathom how many times their cries have gone unanswered. Here is where the pile of rocks comes in. Imagine that each time my son's needs were not met for SEVENTEEN months a rock was placed in a pile. Wow, that would be a lot of rocks. Now he is home and surrounded by love and security, but he brought his "pile of rocks" with him. Each time he cries in the night (which was once an hour on Sunday night) and I respond quickly with love an security I turn a cycle of need and help him remove ONE rock from his pile. Oh, how I would love to demolish the entire pile of rocks in one blow, you know hire some high powered machine to push them into the lake, but meeting needs doesn't work that way. For this reason, I count the cost and the blessing every time I hear cries from my son in the night. Yes, I lose sleep, but I also help him attach and release a past fear little by little.

This "pile of rocks" has been so beneficial for us to talk about with family and friends. We all have issues in our lives. Many of these issues, addictions, vices, etc. have formed over time due to unmet needs and unhealthy relationships and behaviors. Some could call this pile of rocks baggage. I think the difference in the pile of rocks imagery is that you CAN NOT remove them all at once. Whatever your issue is you need to heal one rock at a time. When you look at things this way it is amazing how perspectives change!

So, to some I might look like a push-over mom who doesn't want her son to cry, but I know what I am doing. I praise God for each rock removed and I pray that one day he will be on level ground. Of course I don't want him to forget about Ethiopia, the people, the culture, the life he began there. I only want him to forget waiting for food, going to sleep hungry, laying in a wet diaper, longing for a mother's hug...

I hear him stirring now... he has been napping less than an hour... I get very little done these days... but I am removing MANY rocks!

PHOTOS... FINALLY!!!!!

2011-02-17T20:07:00.003-06:00

OK, I am finally doing a photo post. I also did two other posts below this one with no photos which tell about our lives right now! I hope you enjoy them!!!

Working hard unloading groceries after mommy's trip to Aldi!

His favorite part of the gift... the bow. Actually he liked the gift AND the bow!

My baby turned 18 months! WOW!! We will take photos of him in this chair each month on the 8th to watch him grow!!!

First Play-date with Baby L. They tolerated each other and we know it is the beginning of something wonderful!

He still loves baths and wearing all his fun towels!

His "New in town" outfit all ready for another Dr. visit!

Such a big boy in his overalls!

Wow did my baby grow! There is a photo of him in this outfit down much father on the blog... her is sure filling it out more now :)

9 months and 20 minutes

2011-02-17T20:03:00.002-06:00

(written during naps yesterday)

(Also titled “My son tried to kiss another woman”)

In this adoption journey I have been blessed to receive wisdom from so many momma’s who have walked this journey before me. Our agency has a yahoo group which has given me so much insight on so many things. One wonderful mom of many children bio and adopted explained attachment so well saying that she attached to her bio kids in the first 20 minutes they were born. In the same way, attaching to her children through adoption took about 9 months and 20 minutes. I LOVE THIS! Before M came home I didn’t totally understand it, but each day I understand it better and realize how right she is.

First of all, attachment is a TWO WAY STREET. This was honestly news to me in many ways. All the books talk about ways to get your child to attach to you. I read them. I didn’t realize that just as he is attaching to me, I would need to attach to him. Mothers who carry children in the womb grow in their attachment as their child grows. I know some women who don’t get sick while pregnant that say they have to carry a photo of the pregnancy test around just to remind themselves they are pregnant... there you have it, they are carrying a child that they are not attached to.

My heart aches to admit that my love for my son is growing. I mean, my love for him isn’t as strong as I would like it to be. Superficially, I love him. I love the idea of him, I loved staring at his photos all those months. I love the weight of him on me as he sleeps, but we are in many ways strangers to each other. Each day we get to know each other better and each day the bonds grow and the love grows. Being a nanny has actually made attaching harder from my side as I have fallen in love with children before. That has also taken time, but it is real and wonderful and very much how I feel about our son now. I know that my love for him will keep growing and pass anything I have known before, but I am on a journey to that, it doesn’t happen in an instant.

Now you have heard my side of attachment. Our son has been surrounded by a team of women who have loved on him and he has received that love with glee. He now is usually around just me. I have quickly become his go to woman for all his needs. He trusts me and knows to count on me to answer his cries. Is he attached? NO He really likes me and shows me affection. We have a good bond and enjoy being together, but he has a ways to go. Today I realized just how far we have to go. I walked to a small local re-sale shop to drop something off and M tried to leap out his Ergo to kiss the woman working at the store who was giving him smiles. He had never met her before. He hasn’t been around too many other people besides at the clinic and I assumed (bad mommy) that his kisses were for me and daddy. I was shocked by this total lack of attachment. I quickly yanked him towards my chest and told him that his kisses were for momma and daddy. I am sure he doesn’t understand this. My heart breaks. I guess that shows that I am attaching to him :) but it makes me wonder what our next step should be.

Attachment, just like adoption is a journey... so if you see us and I am not willing to let you hold my son, don't worry, no one else is either :)

As my love grows every day I am excited to imagine what my love will look like in 8 months :)

Kisses, Cups, Books, and life with an 18 month old

2011-02-17T19:57:00.002-06:00

(Written during a couple of nap times yesterday)

I can’t believe in just a couple hours we will officially be able to say that our son his been home for an entire month. Since I last posted we crossed over the 4 week home mark and M is now 18 months old. He is changing and growing every day. His 18 month old check-up confirmed what we guessed. He gained a pound, grew 3/4 of an inch, and is head grew one cm! YAHOO! This is in just 2.5 weeks since our last visit. Our son loves to eat and play and apparently GROW!! Praising God A LOT of this. With all of his “super digestion” I was wondering if he was really growing, but it seems he is. His clothes are also getting smaller each day. I am so sad to say good-bye to the 6-9 month clothes, many he never wore, but I guess that is the life of a mom. Speaking of clothes, you might wonder why our son is in PJ’s/all in one’s is so many photos. Well, there are a few reasons. First and most importantly, he has so many eruptions and they are the quickest for changing. They only cause one dirty item and nothing filled with poo has to be slipped over his head. The fact they he is rapidly outgrowing the all in ones is killing me... esp as I am trying not to graze my son’s head with his feces! (Yes, it is official, I can’t post now without potty talk!) Another reason for the all in ones has to do with his body shape, a huge tummy and shorter legs makes most pants so long that he trips as he tries to walk with is walker. Smaller pants are way to tight in the waist... Also, they are just super cute :)

Our son love to give kisses and cuddles. He (until today see another post) gives me so many kisses and likes Brandon and I to both kiss him at night. He leans his head back and forth wanting us to kiss the spot that he is leaning to! It is so sweet. He also loves to cuddle and esp. likes to fall asleep on my chest, which I of course LOVE. Sleep is still hard for him and he will be in our room for a LONG time as he is VERY frightened to wake up without seeing me. Brandon was in bed and I was in the bathroom and he woke us and could not be consoled until I was ready for bed and hold him. Yes, it sort of felt good to be needed, but I want him to be able to receive comfort from Brandon too!

He is still very into his cups and spoons. He is always mixing up something or feeding himself, or us, or even the animals in the books. It is so sweet to watch him pretend. He also likes to play with tissues and pretends to blow his nose making a noise from his mouth, too cute! During the Superbowl we taught him to raise his hands in the air when we say “touchdown” and he did great. After the game he wanted to continue, so being me, I changed the phrase to “Praise the Lord” so now he is raising his hands all the time. Speaking of praising the Lord, M knows to pray before every meal. He reaches out his hands and we all pray together. He says something like “amen” over and over when he thinks the prayer should be wrapping up.

He is a BOOK WORM! At 18 months he could read books more than 2 hours a day. We read EVERY book in the family room several times a day, seriously! We love this, even reading the same book OVER AND OVER again. He is learning so many works, and songs and really seems to be taking it in. Honestly, we have to force him to play with his toys which he willingly enjoys for a while, up to nearly an hour, but then he will get a book craving and cry until we read to him again.
He is eating better than before and enjoys most baby foods. I tried my hands at making some baby food and I think I will defrost some tonight and see how he likes it tomorrow. It wasn’t too hard to make so if he like it I will keep at it! The only “adult” foods he eats are rice cakes and bananas at the end of meals. They are broken up into bite size pieces.

Funny story to end with. Brandon is in FL though is coming home tonight... THANKS BE TO GOD! Anyway, last night we were finishing up dinner and M was pooing away in his chair. When he was done I took him out and realized it went through he clothes. What else is new :) It was an outfit so we had to deal with the whole over the head issue. Then sadly, M decided to let his hands investigate everything and enjoyed his discovery. Everything went downhill fast is poo was suddenly everywhere! I am so thankful for the diaper changing system we developed with a wash bucket at hand to toss the vilest offenders into as we go through them. I was tossing wipes in left and right... YUCK! Of course I couldn’t really wash his hands until he was cleaned off and with just a wipe wash his hands went straight to his mouth... ahh... then after everything was done I was washing his clothes in the sink in the bathroom and M begins to rewash his hands (yes, I had washed them at this point) in the toilet... I asked him if he turned 2 over dinner and he just smiled. The rest of the night was spent with him getting into everything he shouldn’t be. This mommy is going to be begging daddy to get more cupboards baby-proofed soon! M does have a cupboard with all of the plastic stuff in it. His record time spent playing in it is about 2 minutes. I guess the cupboards with glass in them are just more fun!

** today addition***
He said a version of apple, owl, and Babette (a friend's cat) today.
He also stood alone for several seconds which we captured on video of course!

NOTE- to save time I didn't proofread so sorry for things that don't quite seem right... sound it out :)

Getting “caught up”

2011-02-03T15:45:00.001-06:00

I feel so behind on blogging and since I don’t think I will every write much about our second trip to Ethiopia on here at least I can get caught up on a few other posts I have been wanting to write. There are 3 new posts below to enjoy!

No photos in the posts as blogger was not working with me... I guess you will have to wait a couple of days for those!

A reality in adoption

2011-02-03T15:44:00.001-06:00

Two nights ago we had a horrible night. I knew a night like this would come, but it didn’t make it less easy. M woke up crying at 12:30. I get to him one second after he wakes up as he is in a crib about 4 inches from our bed! He was screaming and after about 2 minutes I knew this was not a quick cry and back to sleep, so we left the room so Brandon could sleep. Once in the hallway, I could tell M was clearly upset. I changed his diaper and it was wet, that would make me upset too. That wasn’t the problem... I WAS the problem! My sweet child either had a dream about Ethiopia, was grieving leaving his nannies (and culture, language, smells, sounds etc), was dealing with some dark stuff or all of the above. Anyway, he looked at me with glazed eyes filled with fear and anger. My heart broke. He screamed in my arms, everything I tried to soothe him made it worse. I finally decided to lay down with him on another bed and put a wall of pillows on one side of the bed and me on the other side of the bed. This was a bit better as he didn’t want to have anything to do with me and this way he didn’t have to be held by me. My plan was to have him fall asleep and then carry him back to the crib. Well, he would start to calm down (I was making sure part of me was touching him the entire time) and then look and me and cry again. I just kept praying over him, demanding that darkness leave our home, calling on the Lord, and telling him “Mommy is staying here, mommy loves you.” At almost 3:00 after hours of prayer and tears the darkness left. My babies eyes were his again. He seemed to be very alert and actually a bit happy. I brought him downstairs and we looked out the windows as a huge blizzard was going on this entire time. After watching the blowing snow we laid on the couch and he fell asleep on my chest. I carried him upstairs and he woke up and needed another cuddle before he finally went back to sleep after 4:00 am. He was up for the day at 6:00... oh how I pray that is it! I am not sure it will be, but there was battle going on that night, and our God is higher than any other! We will take it each day and rejoice in the good! We know that God loves adoption... which leads us to... who hates adoption? The battle is real friends... as M is grafted into our family we pray that God will protect us and our home!

So, to those of you who ask how the sleeping is going... it isn’t predictable at all!

Collections (Warning, this post contains talk of things that could be considered gross)

2011-02-03T15:41:00.000-06:00

Do you like to collect something? Maybe you collect spoons, stamps, nativity sets, little bears, books, dust :) or something else. Collecting in general is fine... unless you are collecting what we have been the last couple weeks. We had to collect 5 stool samples and one urine sample. The stool samples were nasty and time consuming, but easy to get considering our son’s quick ability to digest! The urine sample was another story.

I am not a huge fan of collecting my own urine, it is sort of a challenge to hold the cup, a tiny bit might get on your fingers etc, but collecting urine from a baby... how do you do that anyway? We can’t ask our son to “pee in a cup please” so we have to attach a plastic sack to his body and wait for results. In theory, this would work pretty smoothly, but in practice it is a big mess.

The first sack was attached at the Intl Adoption Clinic. We were headed over to children’s hospital for labs so we were hoping that they could take it off and we wouldn’t have to worry about it. Arriving at children’s we learned that M certainly peed, but the sack fell off and the diaper was wet. The people at the hospital kindly attached a new type of sack with a lot more stick and sent us on our way.

When we returned home, M had a stinky diaper so we were ready for both stool and urine collection. Brandon and I were working together... the problem, tiny bits of poo mixed with the urine while the sack was removed (remember his poo was very loose at this time). We sent in the sample and hoped it would be fine.

A couple of days later we got the call that we needed to re-do the urine as there was bacteria in it. Shucks! We began trying to collect in ourselves and had no success. The plastic always came off and no urine was collected. Often the sack would be totally covered in poo also, yucky!

We had a Dr visit and the nurse put the sack on. Oh how I prayed it would work. Nope, that one fell off too. At least I knew it wasn’t my fault. We tried several more attempts and then I called the Dr office to ask if it was essential, and it was.

We had another visit to the clinic so I asked the nurse to try again. This time she glued, yes, she GLUED the sack to my son. Yes, the glue was attached to the most private areas of his little body. After she glued the sack on I gave him a bottle and proclaimed we were lot leaving the office without a sample.

We then went for a chest x-ray. The x-ray was awful by the way. M had to sit on a bike seat with a tube wrapped tightly around him and his hands in the air. I had to hold his head and hands. He was screaming, which apparently he needed to do to get a good photo. I felt like an awful mom as I could not soothe him since they needed him to cry.

After the x-ray we headed back to find our nurse for the urine check... and SUCCESS!!! I was praising God very vocally in that exam room as she peeled the glue off my son and rushed the sample to the lab.

We were done collecting... I felt like such a free woman with a free son. He could now go and we could throw! YAHOO!

We received great news this week that he has no parasites and the urine is also clean. We are still waiting to hear back on several tests, but so far, overall, he is doing very well. He is below the one percentile for height/weight, so he has nowhere to go but up... hopefully he will be on the charts soon!

Milk Delivery

2011-02-03T15:06:00.001-06:00

( there are supposed and the to be photos in this post and the ones which will follow, but blogger is not working... just imagine a freezer full of milk :)

Our son loves to drink milk! We have been SO blessed to give him real “momma milk” from the sister of a dear friend. His milk momma actually had a child stay in the NICU so for those of you out there who are worried about this, her milk has been tested!

When we arrived home from Ethiopia we had quite a sight in our freezers. We thought some milk might be delivered while we were traveling and arranged for that to happen. The amount of milk shocked us. We realized that our 2 freezers were so full that weights had to be put on them to hold them down. All of our food was underneath 100’s of bottles and bags of milk so something had to be done. We got out lots of boxes and started sorting the milk by month. We then moved all the non-milk to one freezer and the upstairs freezer which was quite a task (we buy quarter cows and I was stocked up on everything). We then packed the milk newest on the bottom and it perfectly fit in on 7 cubic foot freezer! Yes, we have an entire freezer of milk!

God is so faithful! As I said earlier, our son loves milk. He drinks (I am not joking) 32oz of breast milk a day. Yes, he also eats three meals. Speaking of meals, he is now eating 40-50% rice cereal mixed with veggies and fruits. He is doing well. He loves veggies and is not a fan of fruits, but I am trying to get him to eat a little because the consistency, color, and smell of the diapers is so much better with a little fruit (I am sorry, I become a mom and suddenly I mention gross things in every post).

When I first saw the milk I didn’t think there was anyway he could drink it all, now I know he can and I know it will be the perfect thing to help his bones get stronger!

I must mention that we also received several bags of milk from other friends too! I sure am blessed with amazing friends!

Our little "Snow Bear"

2011-02-02T18:34:00.003-06:00

Here is what M thinks of his first big storm...

"Come on guys, I am so ready to get out in that white stuff... the window tastes great, but there is more to explore."

"I like hanging out in this white stuff."

"We all know mommy doesn't like the cold, but she was such a good sport for my special outing."

"Daddy and I chillin on the big drift in front of our back door. I can't wait to watch daddy shovel this thing and yell encouragements to him."

"OK, enough with the snow, enough with the photos. Take me inside!"

"Why are they forcing me to sit and watch this box? I have better things to do" (You all know we don't really watch TV with our son, but we wanted to capture the blizzard warnings and weather men stuff from the day so we set him up like he is watching it.)

"I love my new phone (a remote). It works so much better than talking with just my hand. How come I can't hear grandma?"

"Yes, daddy is finally shoveling. I could watch him shovel all day. Seriously, the snow flying through the air is about all I can take. Nothing funnier around! Daddy is shoveling his 'commute' to work. Mommy thinks if he would have had a longer commute he would have had a snow day, but we like living right where we live. OK, I am about ready for a bath."

New Photos - Feb 1

2011-02-01T21:03:00.006-06:00

This is Brandon writing again with more new photos to post. The one of him upside down demonstrates one of favorite new tricks; he likes to look through his legs to see what's behind him. He is definitely getting stronger. He continues to "talk" and sing almost non-stop. He also really likes to read books.

An update on our lives!

2011-01-25T14:28:00.002-06:00

This might be short... or longer if our little guy takes a longer nap :)

We are doing well and got a FULL night of sleep last night! M slept from 8:15pm until 5:00am! We were both in bed before 9:00 too so we more or less got a full night of sleep! Yes, he did wake up and cry many times during the night but went back to sleep easily. If you know me well you know that my body longs to sleep from 2:00am until 9:00 in a dream world so I have to train my body to a new reality!

Two night ago was our roughest night as M was UP at 12:30 and really didn't sleep much after that.. I was so tired yesterday and I decided it might be time to start drinking coffee :)

Dr visits have been going well and we are impressed with everyone we meet with. MAJOR bummer that the "samples" we collected were not deemed good enough and we have to recollect them! NOT looking forward to this... AT ALL!!! Hopefully Brandon and I will be able to collect them together so that M doesn't scream as we scrape and mix and clean! So ready to find out if there are parasites and hoping to deal with less and less poo as the days continue! Speaking of poo, he was in outfit number 5 before lunch yesterday due to explosions! Poor guy!

Other news: I forgot to update you all on the Gift of Adoption grant. We were able to use it to help pay for the tickets and we are so so thankful for Gift of Adoption! Yes, grant processes are a lot of work, but we were very blessed by 2500.00 so the work is worth it! We continue to be in awe of how God provides. The check came as we returned from ET and today the airfare bill arrived! In this adoption we have never had a surplus, but EVERY time something needs to be paid, the money is ready! Yes, God loves adoption!!!

I need to run, sorry for anything that doesn't make sense!

New Photos

2011-01-25T08:12:00.006-06:00

This is actually Brandon writing. We just wanted to add a couple of new pictures from the last couple of days. They show his favorite current activities (besides eating and taking a bath) - walking with his "walker," reading "Brown Bear Brown Bear" (which he tries to say - "Brah Bah Brah Bah" - and wants to hear over and over), and playing "hide and seek." He's a fun little guy!

2:30 wake up call for this momma!

2011-01-20T18:54:00.003-06:00

1. I am totally in a fog and have a brain full of mush, but I have a handsome and amazing son to make up for it!

2. My son was up at 2:30 this morning... for the day! Wow!

3. Shabby blog made me change the background... not a huge fan of this one, but someday I will choose something that is more me!

4. I am sorry for all the typos and errors in previous posts... a better blogger would change them... I will just say I am sorry :)

5. I am sure you are waiting for photos so here are a few to enjoy! Click on photos to enlarge them. There are so many more where this came from :)

This is what he does when he is ready for another bite!

First photo in the airport!

In front of a huge flag... Our family!
Father Son matching shirt day :)

WE ARE HOME!!!!!!!!!

2011-01-18T10:34:00.002-06:00

We praise God that after 30 hours of travel with an active, loud, and ultra digestive :) little boy we are home safely! We are weary but blessed!
There is no way I can write about this trip like I did the last one. Time is limited (at least right now). Maybe Brandon will have a father-son night and I can get caught up on blogging... or take a nap :)

Sleeping... not so much :)
We are attempting to get our sweet boy on American time. He takes a morning nap from 10:00-11:30 an afternoon nap from 2-4 then sleeps from 8:00 until about 1:00am. He wakes from 1-3:30 (WIDE AKAKE) and then sleeps from 3:30 until 5:45. We are so hoping that his late night "play sessions" will be for a short season of life. I love the morning nap by the way! He is so happy at night that it isn't too horrible to wake up, though not great long term of course... we are also jetlagged and weary, but filled with joy in it all!

LOVED LOVED LOVED Ethiopia Guest house!!!!!!! We were in an adoptive family suite and it is SO worth the cost... I would have paid double for that room! We were in the newest house (there are 4) and we were the only family there which meant they cooked all Shelly safe foods... AMAZING!!!!!!

Thoughts about our son at 17 months:

~He is crawling well and looks good doing it!
~He loves to hear his voice!
~He can walk holding on to our fingers
~He only likes formula and rice cereal, but with everything else in his life changing... we will stick with that for a few days!
~He his a great digestive track and is able to produce a 5 gallon pail of diapers in 36 hours!
~He will be wearing paper diapers for a while based on the above comment!
~He SINGS all the time! Hums all sorts of tunes!
~He loves playing with a tiny cup and a spoon... out of all the toys those are his favorite.
~Daddy is his hero and he looks for him when he isn't around.
~He screams whenever he is done eating, but is easily distracted by something else!
~He had no sticky diapers while on airplanes (thanks for the prayers)!!!!
~He now enjoys the camera, when he wants to :)
There is so much more to say, but nap time is limited. Once we get the photos off the camera I will post MANY on here... so stay tuned!

Looking younger, Showers, and planes!

2011-01-07T00:25:00.002-06:00

I am trying to combine several posts into one. It is late and I have to get up early so if things don't exactly make sense or are cheesier than usual, that is why!

1. I am looking younger every day friends. What is my secret? Eating junk food, getting little sleep and plenty of stress, and not drinking enough water! How do I know I am looking younger? Well, my face has acne like a teenager from following the remedy above :) It can't be helped, it is just sad that the most stressful times in my life are the most documented with photo and video :) Actually, I am glad that I am not too young as I just couldn't handle wearing skinny jeans. Honestly, I am NOT a fan of things which are tight fitting on my legs and I am thankful that my age makes it more socially acceptable to wear boot-cut!

2. While traveling over Christmas Brandon's family had a gift time for our son, not exactly a "shower" but we did get many great things! This week I got to experience TWO amazing showers. The first shower was at our church. It was a special night of fellowship and food, of laughter and of tears and of prayer. I was blown away by the generosity and love of our church family. Our church has walked this adoption journey with us with joy, excitement, and plenty of patience. I was stunned the whole night. It was very surreal and almost felt like an out of body experience.
I just got home from a shower with my friends from our time while Brandon was in seminary. As I drove down today I was listening to some wonderful music and praising God. I was crying A LOT as I reflected on our upcoming trip, motherhood, and God's abundant blessings through Christ. This shower was LONG awaited. This group of women walked with me through those years of longing and infertility. This group of women is... well... for the most part... VERY fertile :) and I attended many baby showers for them. Then, because it was just too emotionally draining for me, I missed a few baby showers too. It was easier to send gifts and make excuses. I know that sounds silly, but it was just so hard! Another part of the women at the shower were those who I ministered with for youth group. They all ministered to me with encouragement and love through the hard times and together we poured into amazing young women! There was a time of prayer and a time of introductions. That intro time was one of the most special times I have ever had (sort of like Senior's Only encouragement circle). What a gift! I also got to see 2 sweet boys and Gideon! I don't have the right words to convey how thankful I was for the day or how cherished I felt, but the piles of wet tissue from tears of joy tell you that it was special!
3. We are leaving for Ethiopia SOON! Actually, we are leaving in just a couple of days! We are beyond excited to see our little man again. I want to try to post from the country since I don't think I will have 10 hours to devote to trip recap when we return as I did last time :) Everything is in order with the embassy and we will be able to land in the US with him on the 16th if the Lord wills it of course. We will be cocooning for quite a while, but soon we will emerge and will be excited for park dates, trips to the area I was today, times at church, time with family etc. It will all come... but first we will just focus on M learning who we are.
4. Last night I re-read Sarah's posts about M (Keller's Miracles) and cried and cried and cried. God's faithfulness and His care for the bigger picture is so clear. I am just in awe of Him!

5. We had a great time traveling over Christmas. We spent about 33 hours in the car, but got to see lots of family and create wonderful memories!
Well, it is almost 1:00am so I better get a few hours of sleep before another REALLY busy day!

Braxton Hicks Contractions... NEWS... Christmas perspective!

2010-12-23T14:18:00.003-06:00

This morning I checked email as usual... hoping for a photo or something about our little man. Today I got more than a photo (though no photos for a long time ): We got an email from our case worker saying that we were ready for the embassy and that we could travel for a DECEMBER 29th Embassy date. As you read this many thoughts are filling your heads. You are deciding right now if you were us what you would do... when I tell you what we did, your mind will want to pass judgment on us. I pray that you will recognize our deep prayer and wisdom that went into this decision.

Immediately we sprang into action with phone calls to the guest house, travel agency, parents etc. We heard first from the travel agent and it was still possible to book tickets for Sunday! We then heard from the guest house, and sadly they didn't have room for us for our entire stay. We prayed that God would make our decision very clear, and He did!

We choose to wait for the next embassy date and will travel in just couple of weeks!!!!! This is the best option for us as we will get to see our families, have baby showers, buy what is needed, take down Christmas decos, clean, call Dr's, start taking elevation meds, and so much more. Even though we KNOW it is the best decision, it is hard to be super excited about it at the moment... though hopefully those emotions will come soon! Our time before we head to ET will be VERY FULL so it will fly by!

The January embassy date is the one we have been praying for so please join us now in PRAISING GOD for opening the door for us to bring M home! He is always faithful!

Other good news:
We received a grant from Gift of Adoption for 2500. This is VERY exciting, though we are not sure if we will really be able to use it! It saddens me deeply that we applied for this grant in MARCH and updated our info every month faithfully. Now, after we passed court and paid our final agency fee they are offering us money to go to the agency. Please join us in praying that this money could be used for our airfare! It would be a HUGE help for us!

Perspective:
So it is almost Christmas. It is easy to feel blue if you are waiting for a child this Christmas. Praise God we don't have to wait for THE child! I was reminded recently by a fellow blogger (thanks Heather) that Christmas IS NOT about family! It is almost a novel concept to reflect on, but it is true! Christmas isn't about gifts, about food, about travel, about carols, about cards, about decorations, about classic movies, about cider and cocoa in front of the fire, about snow on the ground, about good health, about wealth, OR FAMILY! No, I am not a grinch... far from it! I actually enjoy many of the things I listed. The thing is... Christmas is about God becoming FLESH in Jesus! God sent His Son to earth... to die... for us! This is amazing! This is the Gospel! This makes every Christmas "awe"some! You see, we can never has a "bad Christmas" because the joy of Jesus coming to earth is so great that our momentary "blueness" pales in comparison so the company of angels proclaiming the birth of the long awaited Messiah!
Happy Birthday King Jesus!

One Step Closer!!!

2010-12-14T15:30:00.007-06:00

We got great news today from our agency! They have received the adoption decree (I am not sure when they received it, but we learned of it today) and things can begin to move forward for an embassy date! If you remember when I posted HERE about this important step!

So, now we wait again!
Here is the document list:
1. The decree needs to be translated and legalized!
2. The new birth certificate listing us a parents will be issued!
3. A passport will be needed for M to come home
4. Background documents need to be translated and legalized.
5. A letter from MOWA is needed (A letter from Ministry Of Women's Affairs is what held us up on the court date)!
6.All of these documents must be submitted to the embassy by December 29th in order to get the January 12th embassy date we are all praying for!

This means we essentially sit and wait until December 29th (maybe) although we might hear of something before that date! We hope so! Our agency closes around Christmas, so we REALLY hope that we will get Embassy confirmation before they close so that we can book our plane tickets!

I also got to see some new photos of our handsome son today! Here he is eating with the nannies! I swiped this photo from a facebook account so I am not sure how it will transfer to a blog.

I have written about a very special Christmas song for the last two years at Christmas time. The song is entitled "Merry Christmas" and is on the Third Day Christmas Offerings CD. The last two years the song has made me cry, this year, I think if any of you who know us well will share in our tears as you listen!

A month ago... a month from now...

2010-12-09T15:39:00.004-06:00

A month ago we boarded a plane naive to what one week could do to our hearts and lives! On November 9th we began our journey to Ethiopia. A month later we are at home and trying to get "back to normal" while wondering what exactly normal is! Is it "normal" to have a child who is legally yours live on another continent? The "is it normal" list could go on and on, but I will spare you the pitiful details :)

A month from now... IF God chooses, we could (major miracle needed) be on a plane back to Ethiopia to reunite with our sweet son, meet with the Embassy, and BRING HIM HOME!!!

Yes, the chance might be slim, but we are "Faith Like Potatoes" people, right? Please join me in praying that every step between court and embassy would be happening as efficiently as possible! Please also pray that our sweet M could stay in his current room as long as possible. While we feel so blessed by the care at "L" we are begging God to allow M to stay in the room he currently is until we return. His nannies are so wonderful, and if he moves he would meet another whole nanny team, have his little routine changed and so much more. This would be a lot to handle one month before coming home to MAJOR changes!

Much more to come on attachment, but if you want to start praying for that it would be great! Our son is very social and we are quite aware that he believes EVERY traveling family is his mom and dad! It will take major cocooning to show him that we are not "some of many" but his actual parents. Please pray that we will transition and attach well, and that those around us will understand the measures we will go to, to provide the best environment for attachment possible!

We know that our son is a gift for us to hold, love, nurture, point to Jesus and much more, but that we must hold him with open hands before the One who sustains his little life and mine, our God and King!