Yearn for Surrender: February 2021

It has been a hot minute ...

I often feel like I don't have enough time to respond to emails, so that means that blogging is generally out of the question. I have been having a very hard time getting photos to upload so that has been a delaying factor as well. I am happy to announce that I was able to upload photos the last few days, so photo posts will be returning before too long. This evening Brandon has taken the kids skiing for the second time so I decided I should write a bit of an update post since our lives have changed since my last update.

We learned in mid January that M's virtual program would be changing in significant ways for the second semester. We (mostly) loved his first semester virtual option and were crushed to hear that he would be forced to simply attend (observe) in person classes. He would have to be on the computer from 7:30-2:44 each day with a tiny lunch break at 10:30am. This was a large blow. M went back and forth on what he should do. We wanted him to make the decision, but we realized that it was such a hard decision for him to make. We told him to try one week of the new teaching method and see. Each day he expressed bigger and bigger feelings about the class. We would talk late in the night and he would say one thing, then the next day he would change his mind. The yo-yo effect was making us all crazy. After several days he was saying that he hated school and that startled me quite a bit. M has always loved school. Then he started to express profound jealousy of T(even more than usual) and her time with me, getting to sleep in later than him, eating when she wanted etc. Brandon and I finally decided that we needed to make the decision for M to end his virtual school experience and begin homeschooling. We decided to let him have one last day of virtual school while I printed curriculum and prepared for teaching him. During that day he begged endlessly to continue with virtual school, but our decision was made and we stuck with it.

So you might wonder how all of this is going... well...

Today marks two weeks since we began homeschooling. To say that homeschooling two children is harder than one is the understatement of the century. Oh friends, it is so hard. I am getting almost constant push back and complaints... BUT... I know in my heart it was the right decision. Homeschooling is harder on me, but virtual school was harder on him. Thankfully, I am more emotionally able to handle all he gives me (most of the time) so we are managing. The season of homeschool with be short (hopefully), but virtual school causing him to hate and resent school could be damaging to him for years. This is a risk we did not want to take.

We have some harder parts. M refuses to do any school with T, so I am teaching two children totally separately. T has a full day of activities, and we have established a lovely routine in the last six months. My favorite times with T are doing school together. Cuddling as I read aloud, learning history together, having game breaks, it has all become such a treasure to me. It has been interesting to try to navigate T getting all that she needs with M's increased needs. I do feel that we are beginning to figure out a rhythm that allows T and I to have our time and M and I to have time too.

We have some incredible parts. When M and I are doing ELA together, we share many special moments. The curriculum is quite extensive, and includes a lot of geography. M is really enjoying learning states and capitals. He had incredible memory skills and blows me away with how quickly he is learning them. I am so excited to share and learn with him. In History he is learning about the Oregon Trail and writing daily diary entries. It is fun to get a window into his thoughts as I see what he has written. He just glows when I am able to compliment his work. As tricky as the long season of COVID has been, these special times we have together are times I know I will treasure all of my life.

While T has probably ten subjects, M has just five that I am teaching him. He has art and music of sorts each week with his therapies. He also plays ping pong daily and does enough movement things to count as gym. This means that I cover ELA, history, science, math, and health. We are using "The Good and The Beautiful" for ELA and health. We are using Origo (the school curriculum) for math, and Easy Peasy for history. We tried Easy Peasy for science as well, but I don't think it is a great fit. We are going to transition to sort of unit studies with some great wisdom from Grandma Judy!

I do hope that with each passing week, things will get easier. I admit that I am weary. I have started getting up earlier than my walking time so I can have some time to journal, pray, and read Scipture befor my walk. This time has become so precious to me. It is quite delightful to have time alone in the quiet house before the day begins. Things often head south as the day goes on, but talking through my day with the Lord and surrendering it to Him at the start always helps!

In other news...

M has been battling a 5.5 week cold after I took him to Aldi for less than an hour in the middle of the day on a weekday. He wore a mask the whole time. His blood levels are still below normal and we are very concerned about his immune system. We are thankful to have a Hematolgy appointment set up for early March so we can hopefully gain more understanding of where to go from here. There might be a chance for M to get a vaccine before the fall. They are doing trials on children 12 and older and M will be 12 in August. It doesn't seem very possible for him to go back to school without a vaccine in his current state. We are praying that he will have some improvements before the summer so he can do some summer school classes and the Park program. We would choose all outdoor options to give him some protection, but even outdoors I think we are still a ways from this being possible.

Yes, the kids do still have fevers. Yes, it has been almost 9 months. No, we still don't really have an answer. Thankfully the fevers don't really seem to affect them much at all.

Brandon has Cataract surgery scheduled for this spring. We knew it would probably be on the horizon after his retina detachment surgery. We are excited about the prospect of better vision in that eye and the prospect of new glasses with an Rx that better matches his needs.

Last month a woman from our church who was only 5 years older than Brandon died of COVID. This was/is such a sad loss for so many. My heart breaks for her husband. The realities of COVID are renewed as we see first hand how harsh the effects can be. We are thankful that many of our family and friends have been able to get the vaccine. Brandon was able to get his first dose last week. He qualifies for 1A status in our state as a spiritual care provider and as a caregiver for a child (two of them) in the waiver program. I also qualify for it, but have not been able to get in at this point. I know it will happen at some point and I am curious to see how and when.

I am so excited to rewind time with all of you and look back on our lives from Noevember through February. I find myself wanting to write about T's Birthday, Thanskgiving, Christmas, Skiing, and many other things... but talking about them in order with photos is probably best. Because blogger was having problems, all 300 of the photos are in random order. I can't promise that the photos will be up immediately, but hopefully I can get a little done each day and you will see some fun new posts soon.