Three months with our daughter!

 It is hard for me to believe that 1/4 of a year ago we were in Ch*na holding our sweet T for the first time.  Wow!  Since the temps today (28 degrees with the wind chill) are much like they were in January, it can cause me to think that time is standing still... put oh how time has marched on!

Three months is a long time.   90 whole days... and nights! It is all about perspective. 90 whole days of playing with, praying with, soothing, and loving on our sweet daughter.  90 days of T's world turning upside down.  90 days of new sounds, new smells, new tastes, new touches, new places, new ways of life, new beds, new FAMILY, new everything. 90 days of M dealing with our departure, being removed from his role as "the only," sharing everything, and learning what it means to be a big brother.  90 days of mommy feeling blessed, overwhelmed, weary, depleted, humbled, grossed out, and joy filled.

The past three months have flown by in a sense.  My baby is getting big.  The past three months have gone so slowly in some ways.  Often, the final hour (OK the final 10 minutes) before Brandon comes home seems to drag on and on and on.  Oh how I want to treasure it all as best as I can.  I want to remember each stage.  I want to remember each trial so I won't be one of those wise moms that tells young moms, "I enjoyed every minute of it."  The realist in me wouldn't say that.  I do have a good memory.  For example, even though Jr. High was a while ago, I would never tell anyone that I enjoyed every minute of it! 

T is doing so well.  She is growing and changing every day.  She is now 14 months old!  She weighs close to 18 pounds.  She was 14 pounds 3 months ago.  She has grown much taller too, but there is no way we can get a great measurement of our wiggly girl so we will have to wait another month for the next Dr. visit.  Her hair is getting much longer.  Her hair continues to have a natural wave so it really tucks under in the back, but when she is in the bath we can see just how long it is!  She is now sporting almost 6 teeth.  The sixth tooth has been half way poked through now for about a week.  She has been having a really hard time with tooth 5 and 6, so we are thankful that we don't see any white ready to come through again (5&6 are on the top).  Her fingernails and toenails continue to grow at rates that seem to be a record for us. 

Why is she growing so much?  Well, because she is a great eater!  She continues to love most foods.  We learned she doesn't like tomatoes, but it seems all other foods are pleasant to her.  She ran out of Aunt Adrienne's milk about 10 days ago so we have been slowly transitioning her to almond/coconut milk with a trace of formula to aid the transition.  It hasn't been super easy, but I think we found a method that is working to some degree.  We were so very blessed with mama milk and wish it could go on and on.  We are not going to try T on cow's milk.  Yes, I know where we live.  No, she has not shown any signs of an allergy.  Yes, many people with her heritage are intolerant later in life.  While we might be the typical paranoid parents of this generation, the hormones in milk and hidden added ingredients have turned our family off totally.  Even Brandon is now on a totally almond milk diet.  This does not mean a dairy free diet for Brandon or T.  T has Greek yogurt every day and Brandon has yogurt, cheese, sour cream, ice cream etc.  We are just steering clear of milk.

Overall T is sleeping very well.  She moves all day long and the nights are no different.  She is so busy.  If the littlest thing wakes her up she can be up for quite some time.  This can be a challenge, but overall she is sleeping very well.  She still does just one nap a day 99% of the time.  She really could still do/might need two naps, but M won't let her fall asleep in the morning so therefore she has one nap a day most days.  She continues to sleep in the travel crib in our room, but will be transitioning to her room and her big crib soon, hopefully!

T continues to make milestone after milestone.  I can't believe that the little girl I see today could not roll over or sit alone 3 months ago.  She took her first steps on April 1st.  Brandon was at a meeting and she walked between M and I.  We all stayed up late so Brandon could she her walk on her first day. Each day she gains more confidence in her walking and I would say she now walks more than she crawls.  I will miss her crawl.  She doesn't let her knees touch the ground, but crawls on her hands and feet.  She goes really fast and it is impossible not to laugh.  We are so proud of our walker!  She has become a much better grasper, clapper, sound maker, copier, and climber in the last month as well. 

She is starting to say some words, or versions of words.  She says something for Daddy (dada but sometimes sounds like daddy), M (baba which is like brother), Jesus (Esus this is because of the willow wood Jesus figure she loves to suck on after her bottles), Yay (Yay), Baby (baybeee it is pretty clear actually).  Nope, mama wasn't forgotten.  M took a long time to say mommy too.  I guess he is making up for it now. My kiddos must just figure I come to crying so why learn my name :) She loves to sign for "more" but has changed the sign to her liking.  Actually when Grandpa Tom was here he was sharing how T's cousin A signs more and T must have thought the modified version was cool because that is what she now does and it changed right after he said it.  Strange, huh?

I would say we are in a very healthy place with attachment overall.  This does not mean we have a secure attachment.  I have read enough books and experienced the process with M.  I know we are far from attachment arrival, but our bond between mom and T, dad and T, and even M and T is pretty strong.  I can tell my warm feelings for her continue to grow.  We are so thankful she is a part of our family and each day it feels a little bit more natural to have a family of four.  T continues to struggle with head banging.  PLEASE pray for her on this.  She has 100's of triggers and it is taxing on all of us. 

T has had a cold that has sort of lingered, most likely from constant teething.  She has also had some rashes.  With the scabies history I got a little nervous and did take her in to the Dr.  He said she is fine so that was a relief.  No scabies! 

Emerging:
I wanted to say that we are out of the cocoon, but I fear that might imply that T is ready for others to hold her.  This is still not the case.  I would say that we will go about 3 more months before non-family holds T.  This process has been going very well and we are going to continue in it.  We have emerged out of our home bound cocoon.  It has been great fun to go on playdates, go to church again, even go to stores and out to eat.  It is hard taking them both places, but each time it gets easier.  Lately, the daily rain has made errands extra challenging.  Oh how we long for Spring to arrive.  Last Monday was warm enough to play outside for a while.  I just couldn't stop smiling soaking up my family time, laughter, and Vitamin D!!! 

All about M...
M has had a cold for the better part of the last 2 months.  Please pray for M's health as well.  It is hard to make good choices when you are not feeling well.  It is hard to sleep when you are not feeling well.  Poor M has really be struggling with sleep.  I know this is the most constant theme in M's little life, but since we came home with T things have gone downhill.  In March 2012 he began sleeping alone in his room through the night.  He did this with success from March 2012 until we came home with T.  Since home I was almost transitioned out of the room when he got sick.  The sickness brought on a night time neediness that I have not seen since his first days home.  I get him to sleep, but sometimes it takes me going to sleep with him for him to fall asleep.  This means that my time along and my time with Brandon have decreased A LOT.  It is hard to function and be a good mom, and wife with his demands.  I am sure those of you reading this might be filled with suggestions and maybe even critical thoughts.  Please understand that our tenderhearted boy will sleep again on his own one day and we are going to parent him in a trust and grace based model as we wait for that time.  He lost a lot of trust and even attachment while we were in Ch*na.  We are working very hard to build that up.  We have been seeing some progress.  Two of the last 3 nights he slept in his crib all night long with me in the bed next to him.  He woke up one once each night to use the bathroom and went right back to sleep.  Last night was a little harder, but I do feel we are making progress.  He has been having a lot of bad dreams lately.  Please pray for sweet dreams and for emotional healing.  The thing is he wants to sleep on his own.  He just can't do it quite yet. 

Overall, M is transitioning to his role pretty well.  He truly loves T and is so proud of her.  She can walk across a room quite well now.  She gets herself up, stands, and moves.  M gets gleefully excited almost every time and says, "T's taking her first steps."  So sweet.  He is loving riding his bike with training wheels.  We are loving that the added exercise burns off some of his extra energy and neediness.  He continues to learn more and more all the time and is constantly trying to figure out what letter words start with.  He is eating very well, and if it isn't spicy or (non ground) beef he will give it a try.  He really likes shrimp! 

How am I?  Surviving with a smile!  Many days leave me weary, but this time around it so different than with M.  With M I was crying a lot.  I doubted my ability to do this mommy thing.  It was just plain hard.  This time around I know it will get easier.  I know attachment will happen.  I know I can handle it, and even though there are hard times, there is a peaceful feeling that is heartwarming in the midst of overwhelming.   I feel very blessed.  God has allowed me to be the mom of two busy, fun, unique kiddos. They love being center stage and I always get a front row seat for the action.  I get to learn every day with them.  I am so thankful for Brandon's constant encouragement and help in all areas.  He is the life of the party and his homecoming is the highlight of our day.  T is so smitten with him she squeals when he comes home.  Sometimes on long days we all chant "come home daddy, come home." 

I am so excited to see what God has planned for us in the next 3 months.  As T has learned to walk I have learned anew a couple of spiritual principles.  T was wearing a hat one evening and it totally covered most of her eyes.  She walked her best ever than night as all the distractions around her were removed and she could just see what she needed right in front of her.  I need to focus on Christ and blind myself to the junk around that beckons!  Each step for T is very directed and purposeful.  I need to take purposeful God directed steps each day.  These are not easy tasks, but I am thankful for T and M, but tiny teachers reminding me daily and hourly to call on Jesus!